My Vote is a Shocker!

Principles are easy to acquire; much harder to maintain. The principles of Goldwater and Reagan were just a glittery cape that the GOP wore to string us along a few decades, waving it in the wind to convince us they were our conservative heroes against big government liberals.
Of course, in retrospect this has been a lie or at least misdirection using leftist style word butchery with the tricky word “conservative.” Is the GOP “conservative”? If you mean are they trying to conserve the progressive legacy of Bill Clinton and will they try to conserve Obama’s legacy 15 years hence, then yes.
If you mean are they trying to conserve the principles of Washington and Madison and the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence? Then a thousand times no. The GOP as a collective hates the conservative movement they have been forced to embrace the past thirty years. The GOP would rather just practice “good governance” overseeing progressive policies they can campaign against, than ever attempting to overturn such disastrous policies. The GOP is ALWAYS campaigning. Once elected they keep campaigning with Failure Theater – disguised as being “in session” and “crafting bills” and “select committees.”
The GOP would rather be extras in the reality show campaign of an immoral, deal-making, lowlife liberal than stand behind an actual constitutional conservative who would have rolled back the Progressive agenda. The GOP asked for Trump, they provided the stage and the back drop for this “Apprentice: Celebrity POTUS Edition featuring Chris Christie” The media provided the microphones and the cameras. Ugh.
Criminy. What is a conservative to do? How about the Democrats? Are they worth a look? Hold on just a sec….nope, they’re still roughly 90% communists, degenerates, crooks and mental patients. The GOP was supposed to be the small government, free market, liberty lovers who were supposed to stop if not reverse their crazy, totalitarian, anti-Western Civilization agenda. Remember? The GOP tells us that every two years – to get rich off of us and to consolidate power – in between acting as prison wardens for the Democrats.
And of course the internet keeps telling my how my solo vote in a very red state will really, really matter! I mean it is my duty as an American to vote!
Well I’ve decided who I’m voting for between Don The Con and Hitlery.
Both of ’em!
I will vote for the senile, lying, corrupt, megalomaniacal, conservative-hating, Democrat AND the other senile, lying, corrupt, megalomaniacal, conservative-hating Democrat!
And YOU CAN TOO! Let me tell you how!
You see, I’ll be casting a vote for Hillary because I WILL NOT be voting for Donald!
Meanwhile, at that same exact moment I will simultaneously be casting a vote for Donald by NOT VOTING for Hillary!
And this double voting is 100% doable according to the math geniuses on the interwebz, y’all!