Bud Selig for President

We need someone for President who believes in capitalism. Who will not seek to criticize or regulate the free market. Individuals should be allowed to make decisions that are in their own best interest. If a company’s stock is undervalued because they are not leveraged enough to earn high returns for their stock holders, then it only makes sense that a venture capital firm come in and get them to increase their debt load even if they are not expanding. This will increase stock holder value and the venture capital company will also make money.

That the risk of the company going bankrupt is increased is no big deal. Sure, some companies will go bankrupt because they cannot weather some future storm, but storms are unpredictable. Investors can simply diversify their portfolios to other highly leveraged firms. After all, what are the odds that all these companies would face a decline in sales at the same time?

Besides, if a company does go bankrupt, the bank can simply sell it off to their competitors who will be glad “out of the kindness of their heart” to help a competitor in time of need. Sure, some jobs will be lost when this happens, but this will also save money and customers will benefit too! With fewer companies from whom to choose, their buying decision will be so much easier.

Rush Limbaugh, Hanity, et. al. have shown me the error of my ways. We cannot criticize someone for their business practices. To do so is obviously anti-capitalist. So Gingrich and Perry have criticized Romney for his business practices–anti-capitalist! Romney and Santorum have criticizes Republicans for not opposing certain business practices-anti-capitalist!

So what we need is a real capitalist. Someone who will let people do whatever they want. We need baseball commissioner Bud Selig. He has the track record to prove it:

When baseball players were using doping up with steroids to increase performance. Did he try to stop it? No! And it was great for the game. Look at all the home run records that were broken. As Forbes magazine pointed out he was:

known as “the Steroid Commissioner” for the blind eye he turned toward the artificial bulking up of the players throughout the 1990s and early 2000s”

But if that is not recommendation enough, he may be as good as Mitt Romney on the right to be highly leveraged!:

(Bud Selig) now faces the possibility of becoming known as “the Debt Commissioner” for the ballooning of franchise IOUs under his tenure and for letting teams sidestep league rules on debt limits.

See? A pure free market capitalist in the mold of Mitt Romney but better!. He allowed teams to sidestep those pesky league rules on debt limits. This allowed the previous owners to get maximum value for their teams. Never mind they may not have actually known enough about baseball to properly run a baseball team. They bid the highest amount with the help of bankers. Sure, some banks lost money when the Texas Rangers went bankrupt, or was it the Mets or the Dodgers. Well anyway, its not big deal if banks lose money, its not like taxpayers bail them out.

These decisions show that Bud Selig is the best-suited to run for President. Now, some may argue that some people lost their jobs when these over-leveraged companies went bankrupt. But is it the venture capitalist fault that those workers chose not to diversify their work effort just as investors diversify their portfolios?

This post is obviously an attempt at satire, but I am trying to make a serious point. Many companies have strict rules regarding maximum debt loads people opening their franchises are allowed to have. This does not make them anti-capitalist. While I am sure some companies do not have debt load restrictions and there is nothing legally or morally wrong with those decisions; we may question whether they are behaving wisely and whether it might be better if they had some rules regarding debt loads (and other bad-business behaviors).

So when I question whether Mitt Romney’s business behavior is something to be proud of, I am not anti-capitalist. I am simply pro good business practices. Sound business practices serve not only to increase profits, but also serve stock holders, debt holders, and employees in the long run; and they should be encouraged. People who seek to make profits by short-term thinking or manipulation should be rebuked. Companies in the long run only make profits when they serve the most important group: the consumer. People who manipulate the market hinder the ability of companies to perform this very valuable function. This is why capitalist countries with strong moral beliefs out-perform both their socialist and amoral capitalist counterparts.