Diary

Governor Inslee Bans Cars in WA

By Mytha Iruhny

In an unusual move, Gov. Jay Inslee of Washington state has banned the use of most cars for the next four weeks in an attempt to avoid an uptick in car accidents. As some citizens pushed back against this, others blamed them for not being safe. Iauta Gnow, a political activist spoke up at a recent City of Tacoma Town Hall.

“Those of you against this need to understand the consequences!” she insisted. “Your irresponsible behavior in using your cars for commuting to work and going out to buy groceries could KILL someone! Don’t you care at all about your fellow human beings?” she asked vehemently before accusing them of being not only selfish, but reckless.

“I implore you, Washingtonians,” Inslee said at his press conference addressing the matter, “these guidelines are for your own safety. Our goal is for everyone to eventually be able to drive safely without fear of being in an accident. At some point, you will be allowed to drive again. At the end of the four-week restriction we will reevaluate our policy going forward.”

When asked about the statistics behind the low number of accidents in comparison to how many hundreds of thousands of people drive their cars each day, Inslee replied, “I don’t believe that statistic. As the governor, it’s my job to keep you all as safe as possible.”

Inslee’s official website noted that there are some “essential” citizens who can continue using their vehicles. One such group is the Seattle Seahawks, because according to research conducted by Inslee’s staff, Seahawk players and management were able to “manage driving safely.” Other entities restricted from using vehicles include churches, bars and restaurants, who, as Inslee pointed out, have no way of managing their members’ or patrons’ driving habits. However, grade schools will be allowed to continue operating since their students are too young to drive, though he had no specific answer as to how the students would get to and from school. He said he is leaving that up to each district to decide.

“I’m not trying to be a dictator,” he explained passionately at the press conference, “but we are facing a new wave of accidents and this is what we must do to get it under control and prevent further accidents from happening. I understand your frustration and I am right there with you.”

As Inslee left the press conference, one reporter pressed for clarification. “Governor Inslee, you say you’re right here with us in this. How will you show your support for middle class working families concerned about their ability to provide for themselves during this time of restriction?”

“Unlike other governors, as a man of integrity, I plan on following my own rules,” he replied.

“So, you’re giving up driving your car as well?”

Absolutely,” he replied as he climbed into his limo.