Newt Closes the Deal in South Carolina: PCW South Carolina Slaughter Report

PCW South Carolina Slaughter Report
Colonial Life Arena

Columbia, South Carolina
Saturday January 21st, 2012

K-Roy (R), seconded by Newt Gingrich (R-GA) pinned ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) at 16:22 to win at South Carolina Slaughter tonight in Columbia, South Carolina.

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After Chuck Norris hit the ring and connected with a spinning heel kick on Scott, K-Roy hit a K-Bomb on the ‘American Citizen’ to set up the final pin.   Also making a difference in the match, ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin (R-AK) who made the save on a pin attempt by Scott.  ‘The Massachusetts Redblood’  Mitt Romney (R-MA) got into a heated argument with Palin afterwards and K-Roy seized on the momentum change to swing the match in his direction.

Post match, Romney vowed that he was in the Republican contest to challenge PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL) in the fall for the long run.  He also gave Scott a vote of confidence after a tough week that’s witnessed the ascension of K-Roy as a major player in the PCW singles division.

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The main event featured PCW Champion, Independent Daniel-San, accompanied to the ring by Mrs. Miyagi, versus PCW Women’s Champion and PCW’s Queen of Extreme Valora Salinas for the PCW Title.

The match started off with an impressive series of technical wrestling of all things and Daniel-San controlled the early going.  But soon enough, Valora showed just why she is considered PCW’s Queen of Extreme by incorporating a steel folding chair and other sundry weaponry into the match.

After a two minute sequence that saw near-falls by both wrestlers and had the crowd on their feet, John Creese and his Cobra Conservative gang (R) – Johnny, Dutch, Tommy, and Jimmy, made their way to the ring.  Creese and his group entered the ring and it appeared they were going to attack Daniel-San again.  However, Creese sic’d his Cobra Cons on Valora.

Salinas, an independent with no real allies to come to her rescue, was obliterated by the four on one attack and then decked by a Crane Kick by Daniel-San that nearly took her head off.  Unconscious on unable to defend herself, Daniel-San slapped on the Labell Lock and the referee called the match.  However, Daniel-San refused to release the hold, even after Mrs. Miyagi pleaded with him to do so.  Creese’s Cobra Cons then annihilated Mrs. Miyagi and left her in a crumpled heap in the ring.

Finally, Daniel-San left the ring with Creese and company to a chorus of boos and debris being hurled in his direction.  To everyone’s great surprise, Leader of the PCW Executive Committee Harry Reid (D-NV) and Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) walked out with Democrat wrestler Kathryn Randall Collins.

Reid and Pelosi told the referee to ring the bell for a PCW Women’s title match.  KRC rolled the unconscious Valora over and made the cover.  Reid and Pelosi demanded that the referee make the 3 count.   He does reluctantly and KRC is given the PCW Women’s Title belt as a result.

Tune in to PCW Extreme Political TV Monday night to see what ramifications there are from what went down tonight.

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To recap:

K-Roy (R) w/Newt Gingrich (R-GA) defeated ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) backed by ‘The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA), The Right Rev. Randy Richardson (R) w/Rick Santorum (R-PA), and Jim Schmidt (R) w/Ron Paul (R-TX).

PCW Champion Daniel-San (I) retained over PCW Women’s Champion Valora Salinas (I) with the Labell Lock.  Daniel-San declared his allegiance with the Republicans after the match.

Kathryn Randall Collins (D) pinned PCW Women’s Champion Valora Salinas (I) to win the Women’s title.

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