Herman Cain’s Smokin’ New Ad: PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN- Hour 2

PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN- Hour 2
Ohio University Convocation Center
Athens, OH
Friday October 28th, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave


Texas Jack (R) w/Rick Perry (R-TX) vs. Jay F. Kennedy (D) of the Massachusetts Bluebloods w/John Kerry (D-MA)

Jack gets a much needed victory over JFK and starts to rebuild his resume to make another run at the PCW Title.

WINNER: Texas Jack (R) @ 6:06

Security tries to keep PCW CEO Barack Obama’s Aide de Camp Joe Biden (D-DE) and Human Events Editor Jason Mattera (Conservative) separated.

Biden shouts out “Don’t screw around with me.  Do you know who I @#[email protected] am?  Mattera responds that Biden is a “blue-collar poser” and then called the “union goons” Biden made the rape reference in front of “parasites on the system.”

Biden threatens to have Mattera investigated by calling the press office to discuss the incident and whether any rules were broken by Mattera.

Security finally gets the two separated.

Green World Order: ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee, GreenPete, PeaceNick, and Peta from PETA (D) in the ring and they’re ranting and raving over the ‘Smoking Video.’  Suave wonders what the hell he’s talking about.  Lee says play the video…

“The Herman Cain ‘Smoking’ Video with Mark Block

Suave: “Oh.  Interesting.  I wonder how THAT’s going to go over.”

Of course, the GWO is totally up in arms about someone smoking in public and demand that the Cain campaign take it down.  They are joined by…

Soccer Mom (D) and New Age Sensitive Guy Blaine Thomas-Taylor (D).  Soccer Mom also calls for the ad to come down and yells, “IT’S FOR THE CHILDREN!”  Thomas-Taylor also concurs.

Joining Suave at the broadcast table: David Brooks (R) of the New York Times and syndicated columnist Mark Shields (D).  Suave asks Brooks about the ad.

Brooks: ““My heart melts for that smile.  I just I like it. Everybody is going crazy, ‘Oh, it’s terrible.’ First of all, that guy Mark Block, that guy — I went into journalism to hang around guys like that. I thought it would be fun to hang around ne’er-do-wells like that.”

Suave: “Really?  What about the smoking?”

Brooks: “And, you know, I don’t mind the smoking.  I like film noir, Humphrey Bogart. Lauren Bacall smoked a lot. I think it’s fine, but people are going crazy about it.”

Suave turns to Shields and is equally surprised by his response.

Shields: “I couldn’t agree more.  I have to say that I`m so tired of the formula political ad, the candidate with the jacket over the shoulder, the two beautiful kids, and the dog walking into the sunset, you know, with jaw jutting.”

After praising it from diverting from the typical political ad format, Shield’s added:  “This is totally – it’s authentic,” he said. “It’s natural, it’s non-formulaic. And it’s completely consistent with Herman Cain’s absolutely eccentric campaign. And authentic and eccentric, I would say that those are the two … the cigarette smoking. People smoke cigarettes. They do. We kind of deny it, I guess, in public buildings, but people do.”

The GWO take offense at at that and attack both Shields and Brooks.  Suave gets out of the way.  Josh Jackson climbs top rope and splashes the GWO.

A referee appears- it’s another impromptu match.


‘Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson (R) w/Herman Cain (R-GA) vs. ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee of the GWO (D) w/GreenPete, PeaceNick, and Peta from PETA and Soccer Mom and New Age Sensitive Guy

No ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin tonight in Jackson’s corner.

The numbers game favors the Democrats.  But no one thought this would happen…

…Lee, GreenPete, and PeaceNick pound away at Jackson in the corner.  Lee sets Jackson up for his finisher- ‘The Juicer’ when…

Dennis Miller (R)?  Dennis freakin’ Miller shows up.  Peta gets in his grill and starts shouting at him, calling him a ‘turncoat’ for switching parties.  Miller gets off a line with an obscure, esoteric reference about the GWO being so far to the left that..” they nearly decapitated Lyndon LaRouche.”

Peta: “Huh?”

Miller: “Hey, Cunningham — Andy Warhol called. You’re at 14:55 and we’re tickin’ big-time here, Chachi.”

Of course, Peta looks totally confused and the others become distracted.  Out of nowhere, Jackson hits the Pizza Cutter on Lee and sets him up for the 9-9-9.    By the time the GWO realizes what’s happened, Jackson has the legs hooked…1…2…3.

WINNER: ‘Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson (R) @ 6:40

The OWS still seek out those who were the once 99%, now down to 47%.  But they keep get plugging on, asking a middle class family at a store if they were with them or with the 1%.  Again, the answer given is:  ‘neither’ and the OWS Skulks away.


PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL) comes out to defend his decision to go around the PCW Competition Committee to disband the ‘King of Extreme’ Title held by Ann Coulter (R) and create the PCW Men’s title.

Suave scoffs and wonders if a Democrat held the belt would he felt the say.

Obama blames Republicans on the Competition Committee “who won’t work with him” and says many of changes PCW faces ‘can’t wait.’

The Leader of the PCW Competition Committee John Boehner (R-OH) walks out and tells Obama fine.  Boehner immediately books another title match for the new PCW Men’s Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D)– against ‘The Right Reverend’ Randy Richardson (R).

Richardson, the former Triple R and longtime member of the Democrats, has a huge grudge against Chism.  He comes out with the God Squad: Reverend Oral Hinnrich, Pastor Buddy Flambe, and Sister Mary Marlboro (R).

Richardson: “Challenge accepted.”

Chism walks out wagging his finger.  Just like CEO Obama says, he states, we don’t begrudge anyone wealth or success — we encourage it.  Chism says PCW is better off when everyone has had the chance to get ahead — not just the Republicans.  So, he calls out his next opponent…

A man is led to the ring.

Chism: “This is Bobby Harper.  He’s unemployed.  And I’m giving him a chance to win the PCW Men’s Champion.”

PCW Men’s Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) w/the Skanky Rich Bimbos: Kim, Courtney, and Chloe vs. Bobby Harper (I)

This is, of course, no contest.  Chism toys with the unemployed person before hitting the Hollywood Blockbuster for the pin.

WINNER AND STILL PCW MEN’S CHAMPION: ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism @ 2:46

Can You Hear the People Sing?‘ from the musical Les Miserables plays and out comes Charlie Blackwell of the American Heartland Party.  Blackwell takes exception to Chism’s treatment of Harper and charges the ring with Mike the Mechanic and Shiela the Secretary.

Chism slips out the back door and leaves the SRB in the ring as a buffer.  Blackwell climbs in the ring and is greeted by all three of the Skanky Rich Bimbos ripping off their tops.


Shiela fires up the portable generator and uses the jumper cables to zap Chloe with them.

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”

The other two members of the SRB eject themselves from the ring and also race to the back.