PCW on Attack Watch: PCW Week in Review

Thursday night on PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN
PCW CEO Barack Obama’s office
One half of the Political Pitbulls, James Carville (D-LA), is halfway out the door.

Carville: “…if you want to save your job, this is what you should do.  Fire somebody. No – fire a lot of people,  really.  Do it now.  Before it’s too late.”

End of PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN
Attack Watch comes out and gets in the ring with Blackwell.  Blackwell, backed by his Les Miserables, doesn’t back down.  Attack Watch smiles and attacks Blackwell.  The Les Miserables try to help but Attack Watch swats them away and then tosses them out of the ring.  Blackwell gets rammed headfirst into the corner turnbuckle and he’s woozy.  Attack Watch then whips him across the ring headfirst into the other corner turnbuckle.

This brings out ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido.  Escondido and AW trade punches.  AW kicks Escondido in the groin and then piledrives him.

This brings out Blackwell’s wife, Kenzie.  She pulls Escondido out of the ring and then tries to pull Charlie out.  Attack Watch stops her.  She yells at him and he pulls Kenzie into the ring.   Attack Watch lifts her over his shoulder…JACK KNIFE POWERBOMB!

McGillicutty is livid and starts shouting at AW to stop.  She then takes off running when Attack Watch comes towards her and that’s where the show ends.

Obama for PCW 2012 field director Jeremy Bird states that the goal is to fight back against attacks from GOP presidential contenders Mitt Romney and Rick Perry and conservative commentator Glenn Beck.   Bird adds Attack Watch is here in PCW to “support the truth” and “fight the smears.”  When asked if that meant taking out PCW TV commentator Johnny Suave,  Beck, ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin, Independent Charlie Blackwell, ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido, and Blackwell’s wife Kenzie?, Bird deferred to deputy press secretary Katie Hogan who said, “Attack Watch is a tool providing our supporters with the vehicle they need to fight back against lies and distortions about PCW CEO’s record.”

The card for PCW Lock and Load next week:
First round matches in PCW Lock and Load tournament
Daniel-San (I) w/Mrs. Miyagi vs. PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (D)
‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) vs. ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D)

PCW Women’s Tag Team Title Match
PCW Women’s Tag Team Champions Merchants of Death: Angel Scott and Angel Casey (R) vs. TBA

PCW Tag Team Title Match
PCW Tag Team Champions The Schmidt Brothers: Jack and Joe (R) vs TBA

PCW King of Extreme Title Match
PCW King of Extreme Champion Keith Olbermann (D) vs. The Queen of Political Extreme Ann Coulter (R)

PCW Women’s Title Match
PCW Women’s Champion Callie Urban (D) vs. PCW’s Queen of Extreme Valora Salinas (I)

PCW Title Match

After being left out in the cold by the retirement of the PCW Television title belt and denied an automatic entry into the Lock and Load Tournament, Daniel-San (I) took matters into his own hands and won his way into the tournament by defeating both of Paul Ryan’s Raiders: Nick Ray and Kevin Collins (R) and Triple R (D) Monday night.

Daniel-San faces the reigning PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (D) in the first match of the night.  Tanaka is wrestling in his final PCW show before heading back to Japan.  A quick retrospective of the career of Yamamoto Tanaka in PCW:

First, Tanaka’s first title win…

Tanaka had been on the trail of ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism for several weeks before scoring a three-way match for the title along with Khalid-El.  After the Iranian was dispatched, Tanaka destroyed Chism to win the PCW Title.

Suave: “Tanaka’s first title reign would be surprisingly short thanks to a boycott of PCW’s Kingman, Arizona house show by the Democrats over Arizona’s enaction of a controversial immigration law.  Tanaka no-showed the event and under PCW rules he forfeited the title to Average Joe.”

Tanaka’s second title win…

Tanaka regained the PCW Title at Loose Cannons Unleashed 6 in an epic battle with Average Joe that lasted 11 hours and three days.

Suave: PCW Extreme Election Night 2010, the phenomenon known as Jill- Berg got her shot against Tanaka for the PCW title.  Tanaka came out for the match looking as if he’d been hit by a truck.   It was clear from the outset that something had taken place in the back before the match from the sluggish manner Tanaka moved in the ring.   Berg won in 41 seconds.  Then Triple R (D) and ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) both came out and took responsibility for the attack on Tanaka to get him out the way so one of them could win the PCW Title.

Tanaka’s third title win…

March 27, 2011 – In a wild match, Tanaka defeated Kevin Scott at PCW Weapons of Mass Political Destruction to become a three time PCW Champion.

Replay: Monday night:
California Teachers Union: ‘The Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta/Malibu Dusty (D) vs. Charlie Blackwell/’No Frills’ Chris Escondido (I)
…Escondido in control with a Boston Crab on Malibu Dusty.  Then two men rush the ring and assault Blackwell and Escondido.

Suave: “HOLY CRAP!  It’s the Longshoremen, Pete and Russell, from Longview, Washington.  We knew they were coming to PCW but not this soon!”

Malibu Dusty rolls Escondido over and gets the easy pinfall.

Corporate Might:  Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (R) vs. Big Labor/Triple R (D).
This one never got started.  The Longshoremen (D) came back out again and attacked Big Oil and Walstreit.  After what went down with Independents Blackwell and Escondido earlier,  the entire Republican roster came out to take them on and it was just a bloody chaotic mess.

Suave states that now the PCW Competition Committee will have to decide how to handle this.

The PCW Competition Committee has made their decision and it will be a three way dance Monday night for the #1 contender’s spot and a shot at the PCW Tag Team title at Lock and Load next week.  So Monday night’s main event will be:

California Teachers Union: ‘The Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta/Malibu Dusty (D) vs. Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (R) vs. Big Labor/Triple R (D)

The match may come down to the interference of the Longshoremen (D) who arrived in PCW with the same subtlety that Attack Watch did Thursday night…

PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein tries to interview The Longshoremen.  Bernstein barely gets a word out and Russell and Pete attack him with f-bombs and other unpleasantries.  Finally, they lift Bernstein and give him the ‘ShipWreck’ on the floor and leave.

Other News:

1) Two wins for Republicans:
Bob Turner (R-NY) vs. David Weprin (D-NY)
Turner controlled the match for most of the way.  The finish came when…

…Weprin looking for a top rope powerbomb…Turner turns it into a top rope Frankensteiner for the pin…1…2…3.

Kate Marshall (D-NV) vs. Mark Amodei (R-NV)
This one wasn’t even close…

…Marshall walks over to Amodei and slaps him.   Amodei slaps on the sleeper hold.  The ref checks on Marshall!  He checks the arm! Once…twice…three times it falls.  He calls for the bell.

2) ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) reaffirmed his #1 Republican status
Scott also helped give Mitt Romney (R-MA) a boost.

Monday night during the Republican Rumble in Tampa
Scott vs. Texas Jack…again.   Back and forth.  Texas Jack to the top!  Scott stops him and gets a chair.  He smashes Jack with the chair, cover for 2.   Texas Jack gets a hold of the chair and blasts Scott with it.  Scott’s busted open.  Jack takes some of Scott’s blood and paints it on his face and chest war-paint style.  Jack with the chair again, swings, misses, and gets the ref instead.  Jack drills Scott with the chair again.  He goes for the pin…no ref! Jack covers again as ref is now up.  Scott kicks out.  They trade near falls and rollups before Jack gets caught in the American Stars and Fujiwama Arm Bar.  Jack passes out and gives Scott the win.

Tuesday Night at a PCW house show
…Texas Jack goes to the top, but Huntsman runs over and hits him with a campaign placard. Texas Jack no sells, does the 450 splash anyway.   Perry pulls Huntsman on Walker and Texas Jack hits both.   Texas Jack spears Walker through a table in the corner.   Cover…1…2…3.

3) The Mercenaries: Dawn McGill and Svetlana Kovalevski (I) aim for title
McGill and Kovalevski took a big step forward towards a PCW Women’s Tag Team title shot after defeating two other teams Thursday night.

…McGill and Kovalevski tie Code Pink to the TREE OF WOE and put a chair in front of her face.   Double baseball slide into the chair and Pink topples off the turnbuckle.

James and Rowe set Emily List up for…THE TARANTULA!  Rowe flips over the top rope and locks it in.   McGill covers Pink…1…2…3.  Women For Women Eliminated.

Chaos everywhere.  Kovalevski goes for top rope stunner.  Reversed by James.   James for her finisher…but Kovalevski grabs her…TWO HANDED FACE CLAW!  Rowe in the ring.  McGill tackles her…KATAHAJIME!  James taps.

PCW Rankings

PCW WORLD CHAMPION: ‘The Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka (D)
PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Jack and Joe Schmidt (R-Libertarian)
PCW WOMEN’S TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Merchants of Death: Angel Scott and Angel Casey (R)

#1- ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R)
#2- O’Beck Bahama (D)
#3- Daniel-San (I)
#4- Texas Jack (R)
#5- Charlie Blackwell (I)

#1- California Teachers Union: ‘The Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta/Malibu Dusty (D)
#2- Corporate Might:  Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (R)
#3- Big Labor/Triple R (D)
#4- Charlie Blackwell/’No Frills’ Chris Escondido (I)
#5- Paul Ryan’s Raiders: Nick Ray and Kevin Collins (R)

#1- Kathryn Randall Collins (D)
#2- Sarah Mae Smith (R)
#3- Valora Salinas (I)
#4- Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (R)
#5- Jackie Daniels (I)

#1- The Korver Sisters: Kelly and Korey Korver (D)
#2- The Triple Threat: ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas and Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (R)
#3- The Mercenaries: Dawn McGill and Svetlana Kovalevski (I)
#4- Women For Women: Code Pink and Emily List (D)
#5- The Pinups: Sabrina James and Alicia Rowe (I)

#1- ‘The Queen of Political Extreme’ Ann Coulter (R)
#2- Glenn Beck (R)
#3-  Ed Schultz (D)
#4- Andrew Breitbart (R)
#5- Janeane Garofalo (D)