Hillary Clinton Welcomes Women's Champ to Democrats

PCW Extreme Political TV
Washington Avenue Armory
Albany, New York
Monday August 22th, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave

PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein sticks a microphone in the face of someone on the street and asks him about the Olbermann/Morgan war.  His response…

In any war between Keith Olbermann and Piers Morgan, we all lose. Unless they destroy each other.  Then we all win.”

Johnny Suave welcomes everyone to another edition of PCW Extreme Political TV.  He talks about the main event between Olbermann and Morgan for the King of Extreme title.

Suave’s then joined in the ring by the esteemed Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-NY)

Hillary’s here to make a huge announcement.  She tells the crowd that the Democrats have signed their #1 and #2 wrestlers.  First, the #2 wrestler…

Former 2 time PCW Women’s Champion
Kathryn Randall Collins (D)
(Formerly Katie Collins of the Triple Threat)

The crowd is stunned when KRC comes out and joins the Democrats.  Suave wonders if this means the end of The Triple Threat.  The Hillary Clinton announces the new #1 wrestler for the Democrats…

PCW Women’s Champion Callie Urban (D)

…the crowd roars as the PCW Women’s champion makes her way to the ring.  Suave wonders what this means for former MVW Champion Valora Salinas.

Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) joins HRC and heralds the arrival of Callie Urban to the Democrats.  Callie says she’s always been a diehard Democrat and is a huge fan of Hillary Clinton.


PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein asks the other two members of the Triple Threat their reaction to Katie Collins become KRC again and rejoining the Democrats.

Kalee Jones-The Eskimo Queen (R) and ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas (R)

Dallas feels betrayed but don’t worry about the Triple Threat, we aren’t going away.  Dallas ends the interview as Jones has an upcoming match.


Valora Salinas (I) vs. Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (R) w/’Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas (R)

Valora comes out and totally negates Jones power with a lead pipe. Valora hits a dropkick early on and then grinds Jones into the mat with a side headlock.  Valora sends The Eskimo Queen out to the floor.  She goes for an Asai moonsault, but Jones gets out of the way.  Valora lands on her feet Dallas whips her into the guard barrier.  Jones takes Valora back to the ring and works her over.  Valora pokes the eyes and delivers a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for a quick two count.  Valora whips Jones into the corner and shoots forward but Jones backdrops her over the top to the outside floor.

Haley Dallas jumps in to help The Eskimo Queen and the match breaks down.

Then Democrats Kathryn Randall Collins, Code Pink, Emily List, and Kelly and Korey Korver hit ringside and attack all three.  Code Pink blinds Valora with a ‘Glitter Bomb’ while KRC, List, and the Korvers double team Jones and Dallas.

We find out quickly who replaces KRC in the Triple Threat…

‘The American Girl’ Sarah Mae Smith (R)

Smith clears out Code Pink and Emily List.  Jones blasts Kelly Korver with an Eskimo Pieface.  Valora finally clears her eyes and chases KRC from the ring.  Dallas lariats Korey Korver out.

Match: No contest @ 5:20

Valora gets on the microphone and makes it clear that she is the Queen of Extreme and does not play second fiddle to anyone- Democrat or Republican.  Valora says that she respects Callie Urban but she doesn’t respect The Triple Threat after what they pulled on her a couple weeks ago.   She says all the security in the world won’t guarantee KRC or the Triple Threat’s safety.  They can fight her at the local Tim Horton’s or they can fight her in PCW- it doesn’t matter.

Valora: “Defeat me if you can.  Survive if I let you.”


*flute and clarinet flourish*

Two men come out and unroll a white carpet to the ring steps. Dancers then dance. Ballet dancers…ballet?  Little children walk up the white carpet and drop rose petals. Someone lets loose some pigeons…not sure just how they’ll get out of the building.  The crowd stands as PCW CEO Barack Obama appears.  Behind Obama walks Joe Biden.

Obama and Biden climb into the ring.  Obama has two announcements to make.  The first one, Obama announces that with the addition of the women’s division, he has made a second decision to start a women’s tag team division.  What that means is that one of the other belts will have to go- the Television Title belt that’s being held by Daniel-San (I).

Obama then states that since Angels of Death…

Angel ScottAngel Casey
Angels of Death: Angel Scott and Angel Casey

…long time Missouri Valley Wrestling tag team champions, will become the inaugural PCW Women’s Tag Team Champions.

AC/DC’s ‘If You Want Blood’ plays and Angels of Death walks out.  They accept the belts from Joe Biden.  Biden wants to know if they received the bouquet of flowers that the DNC sent out to them.  Casey says yes and that they’ve made a decision.  Scott says in Missouri Valley Wrestling they were for making MVW better.  In PCW, they’re in it for themselves.  Casey and Scott pull off their shirts revealing t-shirts underneath covered by a myriad of corporate sponsors.  So they’ve joined the Republicans and are changing their names to Merchants of Death.   A stunned Obama and Biden watch as the MOD leave the ring with their new tag team belts.

Obama makes a second announcement concerning the upcoming PCW Lock and Load PPV show next month.  There will be a four man tournament featuring the #1 Democratic wrestler, the #1 Republican wrestler, a wrestler who will be given a waiver into the tournament by PCW CEO Obama, and a fourth spot which will be a play-in spot.  The waiver match will be between Democrats ‘One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism and O’Beck Bahama.

This brings Daniel-San (I) and Mrs. Miyagi out.  Why does a Democrat get a special waiver when he was the PCW TV Champion.  Obama says that Daniel-San can still play into the tournament.  Mrs. Miyagi calls the idea totally ridiculous.  Daniel-San throws down the TV belt and leaves.


Quite video package: weekend Twitter war between Piers Morgan and Keith Olbermann leads to tonight’s main event.

Keith Olbermann (D) (c) vs. Piers Morgan of CNN

Olbermann and Morgan don’t even make the ring.  They start on the floor and truly brawl with chairs and stuff instead of trying to have a “grappling bout.”

Suave: “They have a beef with each other and they are showing it.”

It was a fine brawl, had decent intensity, the end is great when Morgan gets a moonsault while holding a chair onto Olbermann.  Morgan for the win and the title…1…2…3.

Piers Morgan raises his hands and gets clocked from behind by Olbermann’s FOK buddies David Shuster, Shannyn Moore, and Michael Moore.  He’s down.  A second referee comes out and says Olbermann had his foot on the bottom rope.


Morgan isn’t moving.  Olbermann walks over and sticks his foot on top of him. 1…2…3.


The crowd goes nuts and heaves all sorts of debris in the ring as the show ends.