John Kerry- WTF??: PCW Week in Review

As if things weren’t already volatile in the world of political extreme, John Kerry (D-MA) threw gasoline into a combustible mix last night at a PCW house show.

Talking with MSNBC’s Joe Scarborough, Kerry said this…

And I have to tell you, I say this to you politely. The media in America has a bigger responsibility than it’s exercising today. The media has got to begin to not give equal time or equal balance to an absolutely absurd notion just because somebody asserts it or simply because somebody says something which everybody knows is not factual.

It doesn’t deserve the same credit as a legitimate idea about what you do. And the problem is everything is put into this tit-for-tat equal battle and America is losing any sense of what’s real, of who’s accountable, of who is not accountable, of who’s real, who isn’t, who’s serious, who isn’t?

Average Joe (Tea Party) responded in kind…

Dictionary definition of “free speech”: Liberty to express opinions and ideas without hindrance, and especially without fear of punishment.   John Kerry’s definition of “free speech.”  Liberty to express opinions and ideas THAT AGREE WITH OUR POSITIONS.  They will be ostracized from society, they will be labeled a threat to national security, they will be called “unpatriotic”, “un-American”, “a terrorist” and “a racist” and they will be vilified until they succumb to the ONLY ACCEPTABLE POLITICAL VIEW – that of John F. Kerry.  By the way, does the F stand for fascist?

That set off another pier six free for all between the Democrats and the Tea Party.  Again, Charlie Blackwell and his Les Miserables joined the outnumbered Tea Party to even up the odds.

This battle isn’t going away any time soon.

Daniel-San’s (I) big win at CWC’s Golden Dreams show last weekend headlined a very active and interesting week in the land of political extreme.

The week started off with the rematch between the PCW Television Champion Daniel-San (I) and ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism for the TV belts at the Golden Dreams two day supershow.  Despite repeated interference by Chism’s valets, The Skanky Rich Bimbos (Kim, Courtney, and Chloe Cardis-Sheehan), including a triple Wardrobe Malfunction, Daniel-San hit the Crane Kick and then made Chism submit with the Labell Lock to get the win.

Dominating the week was the PCW Debt Crisis.  Tempers flared Monday night on PCW Extreme Political TV…

Mike Doyle (D-PA) and several Democrats stomp out to the ring with Aide de Camp Joe Biden (D) and takes the microphone from Suave.  Doyle says the agreement sucks.  “We’ve negotiated with terrorists.  This small group of terrorists have made it impossible to spend any money.”  Biden agrees that the Tea Party have acted like terrorists.

The Tea Party, of course, took exception to this.  Average Joe…

Average Joe fires back.  “Does this guy have a mirror in his home or office? As usual, politicians casts the blame everywhere other then where it belongs, on dem and repub elites.  For the most part, Tea Party folks seem to be listening to the citizen. The same can’t be said for republicans and democrats presently in power. The political extortion he refers to is the art of lying, misdirection, distortion, and hackery, practiced by those who’ve been in office for what seems forever. Both mainline parties are at fault for this!”

After a commercial break, ‘Hardball’ Chris Matthews, CBS’s Norah O’Donnell, the Angry Left Wing Bloggers (Markos Moutilsas, Paul Krugman, Eric Boehlert, and Arianna Huffington) are brawling with the Tea Party when…

‘Do You Hear the People Sing?’ from the musical Les Miserables begins to play and Independents Charlie Blackwell and “No Frills” Chris Escondido race out with Blackwell’s Les Miserables and clean house.  Matthews, Markos, O’Donnell, Krugman, Boehlert, and Huffington are ejected from the ring.


Then PCW King of Extreme Titleholder Keith Olbermann of Current TV and his FOK buddies Shannyn Moore, David Shuster, and Rachel Maddow attack Blackwell and Escondido.

Code Pink (D) and Emily List (D) vs. The Triple Threat: Katie Collins (R) and ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas (R) w/Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (R)
…Collins with a bear hug on Emily List.   List fights her way out of it and tags in Code Pink.  Pink with an elbow and then gives Collins a pair of shotgun knees.  Then Pink connects with a facewash kick for a two count.  List sneaks back in and tries to get a Glitter Bomb but Kalee Jones jumps in, grabs her, and tosses her out of the ring.  Code Pink misses the leg lariat and Collins locks in the PPD (Personal Political Destructor) for the win @ 8:25

So after all that, you’d think that everyone would have got all their frustrations and anger out of their system by the time PCW Politics Is War on P-SPAN aired Thursday night…

MSNBC’s Martin Brashir and psychologist and addiction expert Stanton Peele are in the ring psychoanalyzing the Tea Party.  Peele compares the Tea Party to Norway’s mass murderer Anders Breivik and says they will lash out like Breivik did if they fail to attain that high.

“It reminds us of addiction because addicts are seeking something that they can’t have.   They [Tea Party members] want a state of happiness or nirvana that can’t be achieved except through an artificial substance and reminds us of the Norway situation, when people are thwarted at obtaining something they can’t, have they often strike out and Norway is one kind of example to one kind of reaction to that kind of a frustration.”

Def Leppard’s ‘Tear It Down’ begins to play and the Extreme Equalizer, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, makes his way down to the ring.  Bashir and Peele get grabbed by the neck.  Then, kick to the stomach, twin chokeslams to the floor, and WTF flips both of them off.

Suave: “I love it when cultural bigots get theirs.”

Later in the show, Hollywood actor Matt Damon gets into the act…

The California Teachers Union: “Foul Pole” Andy Golatta (D), Malibu Dusty (D), and their pet governor on a leash Jerry Brown (D-CA), are in the ring with Damon.   Damon declares incentives — like bonuses for good performance or ending tenure for bad ones — don’t work for teachers.

“You think job insecurity makes people work hard?  That’s like saying a teacher is going to get lazy when she has tenure.  A teacher wants to teach.  Why else would you take a sh*@#y salary and really long hours and do that job unless you really loved to do it?”

Average Joe and the Tea Party come out.

“First off, Matt.  Here’s the difference between me and you.  You support big teacher’s unions; I support teachers.  And Mr. Damon, I encourage you, who as a rich celebrity is a corporation upon himself, to graciously offer to pay more of your income in taxes and set a good example for others like you to follow…”

Damon snaps and goes Jason Bourne on Average Joe.  Golatta and Malibu Dusty attack NRA and McAvay.  It looks bad for the Tea Party.  Then…

Suave: “IT’S CHUCK @#$#-ING NORRIS!”

Norris decks Golatta with a roundhouse kick.  Norris drops Malibu Dusty with a roundhouse kick.  Norris turns to Damon, smiles, and blasts him with a thrust kick.

Later on, Mike Doyle (D-PA) tries to explain the remarks he made on PCW Extreme Political TV Monday night.  Doyle says that he really didn’t call the Tea Party terrorists when he called them terrorists.  Joe Biden, PCW CEO Barack Obama’s aide de camp, joins Doyle and assures everyone that Doyle is correct- they really weren’t calling the Tea Party terrorists when they called them terrorists.

Sarah Palin races down the aisle with a harpoon gun and Doyle and Biden take off running.  Palin chases them around the ring several times before Doyle splits off and goes one way, Biden the other.  Palin follows Biden and just as Biden reaches the back, she fires the harpoon gun at him…

“The Insanely Mad Hungarian” Alec Hrabosky (I) destroyed Jered Weaver of the LA Angels and Justin Verlander of the Detroit Tigers in a handicap match where Weaver and Verlander spent more time fighting each other instead of Hrabosky.

The speculation about Rick Perry (R-TX) jumping into the PCW CEO race continued to percolate and Texas Jack’s performance Thursday night did nothing to dispel that.

Texas Jack (R) w/Rick Perry (R-TX) vs. Jamie Walker (R) w/Jon Huntsman (R-UT)
Jack acts as if he totally wants to kill Walker and thus makes him suffer as much as possible. Perry even gets in on the fun when he stops Huntsman from throwing in the towel when Texas Jack puts Walker in the crossface.  Then Jack starts spiking him in the head, and forces Walker to quit @ 7:52

Magnum PO’d (R) w/Robyn Masters defeated ‘Bureaucrat’ Andy Riley (D)

A new feud may have developed after this happened Thursday night…

Valora Salinas (I) vs. The Triple Threat’s Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (R) w/Katie Collins (R) and ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas (R)
…Salinas catches the Eskimo Queen bending over for a back body drop.  Suddenly, it’s lights out.  Light’s on.  ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas lariats Salinas!  She goes for a second clothesline and gets Salinas AND Kalee Jones as well!  Jones falls on top of Salinas.  But the former MVW Champion somehow kicks out at two again.  Valora decides to go for a steel chair, but Jones pulls her back in the ring.  Valora slips out the backdoor of a slam and goes for a DDT.  Lights off.  Lights on.  Katie Collins in the ring!  She hits the implant buster! Jones lifts Valora up…ESKIMO PIEFACE!  One, two, three!

Will Valora respond in kind this week?  Stay tuned for this developing situation.

Finally, two former PCW Champions and a Hall of Famer return…

The crowd stands as PCW CEO Barack Obama appears.  Behind Obama, Joe Biden peeks his head out and refuses to come out.  Obama finally orders Biden out and the aide de camp reluctantly does.  Palin’s harpoon sticks out of his ass.

Suave: “Well, there’s a visual I’ll never be able to get out of my mind.”

Obama gets on the mic and thanks everyone for the well wishes on his 50th birthday.  He announces that he, in turn, has a surprise for all of us.   A spotlight shines in the back and then the crowd explodes when former PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama makes his way to the ring.

Bahama thanks the crowd for the ovation and then wants to know what happened to the ‘change.’  Three years ago, Bahama says we were fighting for change and hope for more civility.  He’s come back to PCW and things haven’t changed a whole lot.  Then PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka, Harry Reid (D-NV) and Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), Kevin Scott (R), Triple R (D), ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D), and PCW Television Champion Daniel-San (I) add their two cents.

Then Bahama responds…

Out walks PCW Hall of Famer and former PCW Champion ‘Not Just Unbearable, Not Just Intolerable, He is JUSTIN SUFFERABLE!  Singapore cane in hand, Sufferable points it at Triple R, Stone Chism, and finally, Yamamoto Tanaka.

Sufferable is back as O’Beck Bahama’s manager.  If Bahama is back in form then Tanaka, Scott, Triple R, and Daniel-San had better watch their back.