PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed 7 PPV
Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon
Monday June 20th, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave
PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (D) held off a stiff challenge from Independent Charlie Blackwell tonight to hold on the PCW Title at tonight’s Loose Cannons Unleashed 7 pay per view show.
Blackwell’s ‘Les Miserables’ couldn’t overcome Democrat Tanaka’s back up from Big Labor (D) and an angry California Teacher’s Union (Andy Golatta and Malibu Dusty), who were looking for payback after losing the PCW Tag Team title earlier in the night. Blackwell had Tanaka set for the Katahajime but Big Labor snuck in and tripped the challenger and the champion smashed him against the turnbuckle. Then Tanaka pulled Blackwell to the top and hit his Japanese Superdestroyer to put his exclamation point on the match.
As mentioned, The Schmidt Brothers: Jack and Joe accompanied by brother Jim Schmidt and Ron Paul (R) became three time PCW Tag Team Champions after defeating the California Teachers Union (Andy Golatta and Malibu Dusty w/pet Governor Jerry Brown) (D).
Jack and Joe Schmidt hit a double ‘Schmidt brick’ on Golatta late in the match and Paul tripped up Malibu Dusty before she could make the save. Earlier in the match, Big Labor and Triple R (D) ran out to assist the former champions but were run off by Charlie Blackwell and his ‘Les Miserables.’
Daniel-San (I) defeated ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) to become the new PCW Television Champion. Chism was originally supposed to face Herman Cain’s protegee ‘Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson (R) but the then PCW Tag Team Champions California Teacher’s Union (Andy Golatta and Malibu Dusty) along with Triple R and Big Labor (D) attacked Jackson backstage. Chism was getting ready to declare himself the winner when Daniel-San attacked him from behind and put him in the Cattle Mutilation. Daniel-San’s tag team partner ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (I) and Jackson cleared out the CTU and Triple R and Big Labor and Chism had no choice but to tap out.
Here are the results from tonight:
#2 w/’The Vest’ Jim Tressel (I) vs. ‘The Insanely Mad Hungarian’ Alex Hrabosky (I)
–#2 used help from ‘The Vest’ Jim Tressel, Dennis Talbott, a Columbus businessman and a freelance sports photographer, several Columbus area auto dealers, and Edward Rife, a Columbus tattoo parlor owner to dominate early on. But Hrabosky’s scrappy style began to pay dividends later on the match and then Auburn’s Heisman Trophy winner, and fellow #2, Cam Newton ran down and clocked #2 from behind.
Hrabosky then hit his finisher and pulled off the surprise win @ 9:41.
‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (AmHeartland) and Daniel-San (I) vs. Dann Armey and Brad Company (R)
-This match never got under way as the PCW Tag Team Champions California Teacher’s Union (Andy Golatta and Malibu Dusty w/pet Governor Jerry Brown) (D) along with Big Labor and Triple R (D) attacked both teams before the bell. Golatta went after his former tag team partner Daniel-San and hit a pair of ‘Foul Poles’ on him and Big Labor laid out Escondido, Armey, and Company with the Scab-buster.
We go to the back where PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (D) arrives in a limousine. He arrives with Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi (D). Pelosi’s head pops through the sun roof in the limo and she wants to dedicate Tanaka’s impending victory to all Americans because the Democrats care about middle America.
Elsewhere in the back, PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein interviews Daniel-San. Daniel-San vows that he will get revenge tonight on Golatta and the Democrats.
Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (R) gloat about the high gas prices and how much money in the market they’ve made because of it.
‘The So-Called Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and Triple R (D) vs. Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (R)
-in a wild one, late in the match Big Oil rolls out of the ring, and gets nailed by Big Labor who drags him all around ringside. AFL-CIO leader Richard Trumka, who came down earlier in the match, verbally berates Big Oil. Big Oil gets away from Big Labor and drags Trumka over the announce table and chokes him with a microphone cable as the crowd goes wild. That gives Triple R a chance to nail Big Oil from behind with a steel chair three times. Walstreit grabs his briefcase and heads over, but Big Labor takes the briefcase from him and whaps him in the face with it. Big Labor rolls Big Oil back in the ring. Big Labor catches him with a kick to the gut and follows up with the Scab-buster for the three count @ 15:23
Backstage, Code Pink…
…attacked Republican Michele Bachmann…
…by hitting her with a glitter bomb. Bachmann responds by drilling Code Pink with a steel folding chair. Who wins?
Extreme Death Chamber Match:
The Right Wing Blogging Brigadiers: Rush Limbaugh, ‘The Queen of Political Extreme’ Ann Coulter, Bill O’Reilly, with Michelle Malkin vs. The Angry Left Wing Bloggers: Rachel Maddow, Markos Moulitsas, Professor Paul Krugman, with Arianna Huffington
– Limbaugh came out first and was locked in with a barbed wire baseball bat. Maddow was second and was locked in with a steel chair. O’Reilly was third and was locked in with a crowbar. Markos was fourth and was locked in with a table. Krugman and Coulter started the match. They went back and forth with Krugman hitting a clothesline and Coulter hitting her own clothesline. They fought to the steel outside the ring and Krugman missed a dive off the top ropes but caught himself on the cage and jumped down on Coulter who moved. Coulter took control, slamming Krugman into steel and fence. Coulter went to the top but got hit with Krugman ‘s boot coming down. Krugman hit a leg drop from inside the ring to the outside and then went for a suplex but Coulter reversed it and suplexed Krugman back into the ring. Coulter and Krugman went at it in the ring as Maddow with steel chair got released. She ran out and nailed Coulter with the chair. Krugman then nailed Coulter with the Terminator. Coulter recovered and took control, bloodying Krugman with a legdrop on a chair on Krugman. Coulter eventually grabbed Maddow and threw her upside down into the Chamber fence. Coulter focused on Maddow as Michelle Malkin yelled for her to eliminate somebody. Coulter nailed Maddow with superplex. Krugman tried to sneak a pin in on Coulter but Coulter kicked out. Coulter tried to pin Maddow but she also kicked out. O’Reilly then entered with a crowbar and nailed Maddow. He choked out Maddow as Krugman went to work on Coulter. Krugman clotheslined Coulter and then hit O’Reilly with a chair. He then hit Coulter with the chair and hit a dropkick with the chair. O’Reilly hit the Frog Splash on Maddow for the pin, eliminating Maddow.
Krugman nailed Coulter with a high kick for the pin, eliminating Coulter.
O’Reilly went to work on Krugman, drilling him with a chair and then suplexing him. He then climbed the pod and crushed him with an elbow on a chair for the pin, eliminating Krugman.
It came time for Markos to enter and he quickly went to work on O’Reilly, destroying him and eventually spearing him for the pin, eliminating O’Reilly.
This just left Markos in the ring alone, so he brought his table in as Malkin talked to Limbaugh. Limbaugh finally entered with his baseball bat as Markos fought back with a chair. Markos took control and rammed Limbaugh’s head into the chamber, busting Limbaugh open. Limbaugh fought back, Markos countered it into a DDT followed by the spear. Malkin slipped into the chamber and grabbed on to Markos’s leg. This allowed Limbaugh to toss Markos into the fence before going for the Choke Slam and the win @ 17:40
PCW Television Title Match
‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (c) (D) vs. Pizza Delivery Guy Josh Jackson (R) with Herman Cain (R)
–Daniel-San (I) replaced Jackson and won the PCW Television Title with the Cattle Mutilation @ :40.
PCW Tag Team Title Match
California Teacher’s Union: ‘Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta and Malibu Dusty (c) (D) vs. The Schmidt Brothers: Jack and Joe Schmidt (R)
–The Schmidt Brothers defeat the CTU to win the PCW Tag Team Title @ 12:22
PCW Title Match
Yamamoto Tanaka (c) (D) vs. Charlie Blackwell (American Heartland)
-Tanaka retains over Blackwell @ 14:11