Let's Talk About (Not Having) Sex

Tabitha Hale shared an excellent post by Steven Crowder about sex or rather not having sex.

The idea of abstinence has become somewhat of a punchline in this country. From the myth of unrealistic “abstinence only” education, to the media’s constant portrayal (and mockery) of young, nerdy, out of touch Christians riddled with chastity pendants, the message on abstinence being pumped through pop-culture is clear; If you’re abstinent it’s either because A) you’re ugly or B) you’re a loser. In my case, it was often both.

Mine, too.

Sure, Michelle Obama can run around the country and condemn little fatties for inhaling Little Debbies, but if you try and apply that same helpful, healthful concept to sex, it’s seen as pushy and/or prudish.

It’s even more fun when people rail against obesity because of the increased burden fat people place on a taxed (in more ways than one) health care system. Yet those same people encourage sexual promiscuity which leads to the spread of diseases which, in many cases, have no cure and put an even greater strain on the health care system. That doesn’t even take into account the number of single mothers who end up on welfare further burdening a system already stretched to the limit.

Listen, one doesn’t need to be religious (nor a rocket scientist) to see the value of abstinence. Let’s disregard the immediately eliminated risk of increasingly popular STD’ and STI’s. Heck, let’s even discount the statistical data showing that sexual exclusivity seems overwhelmingly conducive to a successful marriage .Abstinence also provides an incomparable bond of trust in a relationship.

I can tell you beyond any doubt, that my lady is able to control herself and stick to her values regardless of circumstance. Just as surely, she can say the same about me (Ben&Jerry’s benders notwithstanding). It is that display of self-control, that tangible example of living your principles through your life’s walk that ensures her that I won’t be jumping on the first well-proportioned opportunity that comes my way.

Wait, a relationship based on trust? Can those even exist? Not if you get all of your information from TV sitcoms. They will often glorify sex and use the lack of trust and the jealousy of the characters for cheap laughs.

In the sitcom Friends, two of the characters, Ross and Rachel, started dating and, as was common on that show, having sex. During a troubled time in their relationship, Rachel suggests that they “take a break from us.” Ross was so distraught that he ends up in the arms of another woman. When Rachel reconsiders the breakup the next but learns of Ross’ indiscretion and things go rapidly downhill. Ross’ exclamation “We were on a break!” becomes a running gag throughout the rest of the show.

This example from the 1990’s is tame compared to shows such as Sex and the City or True Blood.

Strong trust is the result. Constantly we hear cries of women aimed at their supposedly overly jealous boyfriends, “What’s the matter? Don’t you trust me?”

No, he doesn’t. You slept with him on the first date and there is no reason for him to think that you wouldn’t do the same when a better offer comes along.

It doesn’t help that nearly every show on TV glorifies infidelity and distrust. The common phrase “You are what you eat” can be restated “You are what you watch.”

Crowder finally asks the question that few seem to want to ask.

While we’re on the subject, has the whole floozie shtick really empowered any women out there?

What it has empowered is growth in the number of single mothers, broken homes and the murder of the unborn.

We live in an age where school administrators are not asking whether schools should be encouraging sex but how young to start encouraging sex. The whole idea of promoting abstinence among children, as Crowder so bluntly puts it, “makes people’s posteriors pucker with discomfort.”

Schools freely hand out condoms, which, at best, have a 15 percent failure rate, to students and are somehow surprised when many of those students turn up pregnant. Do you think these same administrators would encourage their students to drive knowing their brakes would fail 15 percent of the time? Of course not.

It’s long since time that we honestly talk about abstinence. Not because sex is “evil” or “wrong” because it’s not but because there are legitimate reasons to wait.

(Originally posted at PerlStalker’s Ramblings)