Backlash: Wall Street Downgrades Big 3 Networks' Stock From "News" to "Paparazzi"

You knew this was coming.

Wall Street analysts late yesterday downgraded the stock of ABC, NBC, and CBS to “Paparazzi” status in light of the widespread perception that in covering presumptive Democratic nominee Barack Obama’s trip to Europe and the Middle East, that they had lost a substantial amount of objectivity and were instead focusing more on the candidate’s image and star power.Jeffrey F. Goldberg, an analyst with Bear Stearns, said, “You can’t have NBC, for example, telling us what kind of sunglasses Obama is wearing or spending so much time setting up a photo-op [see below] of the candidate sitting in a Humvee looking like some kind of stud muffin, while the troops are waiting to eat lunch, and expect to maintain the higher standards required of a bona fide news network.”

Looks like the yellow journalists don’t mind the company.

Responding to Wall Street’s downgrade of the stock of the major networks, David Coverdale, editor-in-chief of the supermarket tabloid, The Star said, “Those guys have turned their noses up at us for decades. It’s nice to see them get their comeuppance, but I have to say, this story itself is a great one for us. Maybe the newly anointed tabloid icon Brian Williams and I can go to the Caymans together, hide in the bushes and get some long lens topless shots of Gwyneth Paltrow.”

This, of course, is what we conservatives have long hoped for. Professional punishment for being totally in the tank for the left.

One other interesting development along the same lines. My buddy Todd just got back from his annual overseas summer vacation with his family. They hit England, Germany, Switzerland, Italy, Spain, and the Netherlands. Upon his return, he got a call from the Obama campaign. They told him that his having spent a entire week overseas visiting foreign countries obviously gave him a tremendous amount of foreign policy experience. They thought that a guy with that kind of experience would be eminently qualified to serve as Secretary of State in an Obama Administration. Todd asked them where they got his name. They told him that a 17 year old girl, a big Obama fan, liked Todd’s cool baseball cap, and gave them his number.

He told them he was a conservative, it was a Fred Thompson cap, and hung up the phone.

Also find Bill Dupray at The Patriot Room