Breaking News: President Obama Says "I'm Having a Great Time" On Vacation... (again)...

Another shocking News Flash by Jake Tapper

Jakey, Jakey, Jakey…

I mean, seriously, dude. What kind of Head Line is that…?

Breaking News: President Obama Says “I’m Having a Great Time” On Vacation”

First of all, since when is “Having a Great Time On Vacation” considered “Breaking News”? Most people DO have a “Great Time On Vacation”. Granted, many of us out here in Reality Land can’t afford to take vacations anymore. You see, WE’VE been told we have to tighten our belts….

How can you possibly call the president being on another vacation “Breaking News” and not crack yourself up? Wouldn’t “Monthly Update” be more accurate?… And how many more photos do you think we want to see of The First Family swimming or eating another damn ice cream cone (especially when Mrs Obama keeps telling us that “desert is not a right” and keeps harping on our kids for being too fat)?

Wait… Let’s take a look at your own Header…

It says….

Political Punch
Power, pop, and probings from ABC News Senior White House Correspondent Jake Tapper

Political coverage and musings on pop culture from ABC News Senior White House Correspondent Jake Tapper and the ABC News White House team. 

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Power, pop, and probings from ABC News Senior White House Correspondent Jake Tapper 


“Power… pop…” ………………………….. What the….?…………….. “Power, pop and probings”? ….. “Musings”?…..What the hell is that? What does “Power, pop and probings” have to do with “The News”? MUsings… Are you freaking SERIOUS? Sounds more like the titles of some elective course you might find for a High School Creative Writing Class or some ambiguous, fluff verse you might hear at one of those “artsy” little poetry readings where others only pretend to “get it” so they TOO will be considered “elightened” by the other clue-less, tree-hugging twits…

Where is the word, “FACTS” in your heading… or even the word “News”? OH wait… there it is… down at the bottom…. near the end…. right between The 4th mention of your own name (in case the other two times and your dapper little, “News Guy with the Scarf Around My Neck” photo wasn’t enough) and “White House Team”… Aww…. and you “Twitter”…. Isn’t that so cuuuuute? (Why am I not surprised… I’ll bet when it’s too warm for your scarf you tie pastel, V-Neck sweaters around your shoulders.)

Look Jakey. We don’t care that Barack and his family are “Having a Great Time On Vacation”… again. In fact, in case you haven’t noticed… The fact that Obama has taken 8 vacations, has spent more than 200 hours on the golf course and threw more than a 170 parties in his first year in office alone just might (amongst other things) have a wee-little something to do with why his poll numbers are making a greasy spots in the gutters like the pattern in the fabulously tactless stylish designer top his dear wife wore to the Gulf after the Oil Spill?


oil top

We don’t care that “Last night President Obama and First Lady Obama dined at State Road Restaurant in West Tisbury on Martha’s Vineyard”, and that “Their dinner companions were family friends Dr. Eric and Cheryl Whitaker, senior adviser Valerie Jarrett, and lawyer and business executive Vernon Jordan and wife Ann Dibble Jordan” and we CERTAINLY don’t give a Royal Flying WHO-ha that owner Mary Kenworth said (although she’d been asked not to talk about what the Obamas ordered), “the whole table got lobster tempura with island corn succotash and lemon vinaigrette” in “addition to their individual entrees”…

Don’t you think it’s a bit odd The Obama’s are so concerned about keeping such trivial things like “what their “individual entrees” were a secret from us peasants out here suffering the “benefits” of their bright ideas? Might it be because, it might come across as a little “out of touch” or even “snooty” telling us ” We can’t drive our SUVs and eat as much as we want” while they jet all over the globe and (on top of eating $100.00 per serving Wagyu Beef at their Stimulus Party Dinner) dine on “lobster tempura with island corn succotash and lemon vinaigrette” with guests at the State Road Restaurant in West Tisbury on Martha’s Vineyard? I’ll bet the only thing you regret about informing us of that sort of elitist snobbery is that you can’t actually WRITE it with the arrogant English accent I hear in my head when I read it… (you know, the one you most likely fake when you’re at home alone while admiring your reflection in any shiny surface).

Yeah… During the campaign (which inspired her to be proud of her country for the first time in her adult life), Michelle told us that we have to “compromise”. We have to “sacrifice for one another in order to get things done”… Yeah, what she DIDN’T tell us was what she really meant was, “As soon as I get back from visiting the King and Queen on my luxurious vacation in Spain, you’re gonna “sacrifice” your Food Stamps and fund my personal war against all your FAT KIDS!”

“Let them eat cake” my backside… “Let them go on a diet while WE go eat ICE CREAM!”

Shortly after the election, the president said “everybody’s going to have to give. Everybody’s going to have to have some skin in the game.”  He just failed to explain he was going to slice it from our flesh personally and use it to make himself a new pair of shoes.

awwwwwwww…. and there’s your name again… Well whadoya know… Looky there…. Yep. There it is… a 5th time… Your little nake, Jakey Tapper… right at the bottom where you take full blame credit for that mind-bending, informative article you wasted enriched my time with… 

Minutes after leaving the restaurant, Vernon Jordan appeared on a rerun of CBS’ The Good Wife, trying to purchase the fictitious Chicago law firm Stern, Lockhart & Gardner.(The episode originally aired in May.)

Jordan is a friend of the owner of State Road Restaurant – so much so that you can hear his voice on the restaurant’s phone message.

“He’s a friend of mine and I adore his voice,” owner Mary Kenworth told ABC News. 


Oh gag me.



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