Diary

Stop Calling Us 'Shy Trump Voters'. We're DeceptiCons.

There’s a great deal of speculation swirling about what the media has labeled “shy Trump voters”, and their potential impact on the election.

Unfortunately, conservative websites have adopted this same problem terminology (as example see T.LaDuke’s otherwise excellent piece).

Why problematic? Because ‘shy’ implies hesitancy to perform an action, based on an incorrect assessment of the possible harm. When you’re a 15 year old boy, orbiting the prettiest girl at the dance, with cold sweat fear cementing your tongue to the roof of your mouth: That’s shy. Your actions won’t literally result in earth swallowing you whole, (though it sure felt that way) when you finally squeak out, “Hi Teresa!”, and you’re friend-zoned before the next sentence.

The stakes are much higher for the badly labeled ‘shy Trump voter’. Like millions of others, I work in an industry where open support for Donald Trump would halt my career progress, with all the subtlety of an airbag deploying during a head-on collision. In my particular firm, HR operates as an SJW free-range preserve, and senior management bleed Democrat blue. My involuntary departure would be inevitable. One quiet MAGA, and my every decision would be reviewed as ‘Trump supporter = impaired judgement’. No work ethic could withstand that lens. And I like my job. It pays well, and its fulfilling work, otherwise.

So, I ain’t “shy”. Stop calling me that. I’m a deliberately Deceptive Conservative. I avoid no-win, at work political discussions, but if pressed, I invariably say ‘Well, Biden is the only choice.” The quiet part I simply add on in my head “…if you want the United States destroyed by a senescent grifter and Willie Brown’s sidepiece“. I’ve answered two telephone polls already this year (one was the Quinnnipac), with that same pro-Biden message. (Pro tip: Anyone who tells you your answers are anonymous, but who has your phone number, is lying to you.)

Living this duplicity is deeply angering. I’m angry and get more so every day, with every additional forced utterance. But I do keep coming back to one basic truth – if someone is looking to kill you, don’t hand him or her a loaded gun.

So, that’s life as a DeceptiCon. One thing I can promise you all – the millions in this particular prison are all coming out on November 3rd. We will have our pound of flesh in the voting booth as partial recompense, for the enforced silence over the past two years. And God willing, the American polling industry, and Joe Biden’s hope eternal, may never recover.