Diary

We Want Pie

We Want Pie

And Not Your New Idea

Once upon a time there was a nation of free people.  And the people of this nation loved pie.  There were so many different kinds of pie, and each kind of pie was wanted by at least someone in the nation.

Pie was made in just about every way that the people wanted.  Pie makers made everyday pie, specialty pie and pie for just about every occasion.  And new fruits were being developed all the time all over the nation and were always being used to make tastier kinds of pie.  Pie makers became better and better at making pie and were always making new kinds of pie for new kinds of occasions.  Pie makers even went to school to learn how to make pie, and they went to extra schools to learn how to make specialty pie.

Pie was sometimes expensive, though, especially specialty pie that was made using exotic fruits.  But pie was so important to the people of this nation that there even were programs for people who could not afford pie, so they could get the pie they wanted.  In this nation, everyone who wanted pie got the pie they wanted.  But all was not perfect.

The people in the nation wanted pie so much that more and more of the nation’s resources were being used to make better and better pie.  Some of the people thought this was a good thing because a nation that loves pie should have the best pie, especially the right pie for the occasion.  Others thought this was a bad thing because they thought the nation should spend less on pie and more on other things.  Then a new king had a new idea.

The new king said that all the people shall have exactly the pie they need, but they wouldn’t have to pay for it.  Instead, the new king would have the government collect pie taxes, and the government would tell the pie makers what kinds of pie to make, how much to make and what kinds of fruits to use.  That way the government would pay the pie makers less, and the people would have exactly the pie they need.

Some of the people thought this new idea would solve all the problems.  Other people thought that the pie makers were making the best pie already (after all, the best thing ever is to have the tastiest pie when you want it), and they thought if the pie makers got paid less, the pie they make might not taste as good (after all, it takes a lot of effort and skill to make tasty pie).  Well, the king said he knew what was best, and he had the government start paying for everyone’s pie.

At first, the people weren’t unhappy.  The pie makers still made tasty pie, and it cost less.  The people paid some pie taxes, but the pie taxes were mostly less than what the pie used to cost.

In fact, now that pie was free (the people just paid pie taxes and nothing extra for the actual pie), the people ate more and more pie, especially everyday pie.  Instead of just the amount of everyday pie that they used to eat, people now ate a lot more everyday pie.  The pie makers had difficulty making enough pie.  Soon there were pie shortages, and the people were waiting on long lines for pie. 

In fact, even though the government was paying lower prices to the pie makers, so much everyday pie was being made that the nation was spending more on pie than it used to when the people bought their own pie.  So the king said he knew just what to do.

The king said that pie taxes would just have to go higher and the prices for pie would just have to go lower and that the fruits used in making pie would have to cost less, too.  But because the people now ate so much everyday pie, the government was still spending too much for pie. 

So the king said that specialty pie would have to cost less, too; especially pie made using exotic fruits.  Now the pie makers were having more difficulty.

The pie makers were paid lower prices for pie, so they didn’t have as much money to pay the fruit growers.  They had to pay lower prices to the fruit growers for existing kinds of fruits (just like the king said), and they weren’t able to pay the fruit growers very much at all for new and exotic kinds of fruits (so no more exotic fruits for new occasions). 

Because the fruit growers were paid less, they weren’t as interested in making the best fruits for the tastiest pie.  Now, everyday pie didn’t taste as good anymore, and the pie makers had to stop making as much specialty pie.

But the king said that was ok, because pie tasted too good anyway.  He said pie didn’t have to be the best pie and didn’t even have to taste all that good.  Plus the king decided that, even when people wanted pie made with exotic fruits, a lot of the time apple or cherry would be just fine.  So the king said you had to get approval from the government for pie made with exotic fruits. 

Still the people weren’t too unhappy yet because most people didn’t want pie made with exotic fruits.  But they wished that everyday pie was better.  And everyone seemed to know someone who was told no when they wanted pie made with an exotic fruit.  And now the pie makers were having even more difficulty than before.

A lot of pie makers were still being asked for so much everyday pie and the prices were so low for everyday pie that they couldn’t afford to make pie any more.  So the pie makers started going out of business.  Also, specialty pie makers didn’t do that as much any more because the government kept telling them to make everyday pie instead.  So they tried making everyday pie.  But a lot of them couldn’t afford to do that any more either.

Soon, the people didn’t have as much pie as they wanted and didn’t even have the kinds of pie that they wanted for the occasions that they were having.  And the people got mad because they used to have the best pie and now they didn’t have the best pie any more.

Some of the people said it was the government’s fault because it didn’t know how to tell the pie makers what kind of pie to make at the right time, and if only the government was smarter about it, all the right pie for any occasion would be had by all.  But other people said that things were better before the government was in charge of pie.  The pie might have cost a lot sometimes, but there were no pie taxes, it was the best pie, and it was always the right pie for the occasion.  These people said it was the king’s fault for using the new idea.

Then a new king said that he would tell the government what to do better than the old king and that if the government wouldn’t do what he said, he would get the government out of pie.  But it didn’t work out that way.

The government was never going to get better at choosing the right kind of pie because they weren’t pie makers.  And the government was never going to get better at paying pie makers the right prices for pie because the government wasn’t the one who wanted the pie or the one making the pie.  Plus, the new idea was never going to go away, because too many people were now employed by the government, telling pie makers what to make and trying to figure out what to pay them.

Well, it was too bad for everyone.  The nation that loved pie was no longer free to choose the kind of pie it wanted from the best pie in the world.  And it never would be.  What they should have done was told the king with the new idea, “WE WANT PIE, and not your new idea.”  But they didn’t, and there was never going to be a nation with the best pie again.  The End.

I think it is useful to think about the healthcare debate in terms of how it would be viewed if something other than healthcare was at issue, pie for example.  This is a simple example of how simply inane it is to try the sort of thing that the Democrats want to try.  I know the reason they want to do it is to entrench their own power, but, IMHO, simple (and somewhat lenghty; sorry about that) examples like this can be useful in embarrassing people who put forth embarrassingly idiotic proposals.

If you copy the essay above into a word processing program and make the following global word changes in the following order, it sets out the essay on the real issue.  Or you can just read the converted essay below the word conversions.  IMHO, it’s pretty cool and worth a read.

“pie” = “healthcare”

“maker” = “provider”

“everyday” = “primary”

“specialty” = “specialist”

“exotic” = “innovative”

“fruit growers” = “pharmaceutical companies”

“loved” = “knew the importance of good”

“loves” = “knows the importance of good”

“fruit” = “drug”

“occasion” = “disease”

“mak” = “provid”

“made” = “provided”

“they need” = “that the government says they should have”

“want” = “need”

“exactly” = “only”

“ate” = “demanded”

“eat” = “demand”

“tasty” = “effective”

“tastier” = “more effective”

“tastiest” = “most effective”

“didn’t taste as good” = “wasn’t as effective”

“taste as good” = “be as effective”

“tasted too good” = “was too effective”

“taste all that good” = “be all that effective”

“new idea” = “tired, old, government-provided, healthcare plan that performed miserably in every country where it was tried”

“price” = “rate”

“king” = “president”

“apple or cherry” = “painkillers and simply making them comfortable until they died”

“there was” = “the United States of America was”

We Need Healthcare

And Not Your Tired, old, government-provided, healthcare program that performed miserably in every country where it was tried

Once upon a time the United States of America was a nation of free people.  And the people of this nation knew the importance of good healthcare.  There were so many different kinds of healthcare, and each kind of healthcare was needed by at least someone in the nation.

Healthcare was provided in just about every way that the people needed.  Healthcare providers provided primary healthcare, specialist healthcare and healthcare for just about every disease.  And new drugs were being developed all the time all over the nation and were always being used to provide more effective kinds of healthcare.  Healthcare providers became better and better at providing healthcare and were always providing new kinds of healthcare for new kinds of diseases.  Healthcare providers even went to school to learn how to provide healthcare, and they went to extra schools to learn how to provide specialist healthcare.

Healthcare was sometimes expensive, though, especially specialist healthcare that was provided using innovative drugs.  But healthcare was so important to the people of this nation that there even were programs for people who could not afford healthcare, so they could get the healthcare they needed.  In this nation, everyone who needed healthcare got the healthcare they needed.  But all was not perfect.

The people in the nation needed healthcare so much that more and more of the nation’s resources were being used to provide better and better healthcare.  Some of the people thought this was a good thing because a nation that knows the importance of good healthcare should have the best healthcare, especially the right healthcare for the disease.  Others thought this was a bad thing because they thought the nation should spend less on healthcare and more on other things.  Then a new president had a tired, old, government-provided, healthcare program that performed miserably in every country where it was tried.

The new president said that all the people shall have only the healthcare that the government says they should have, but they wouldn’t have to pay for it.  Instead, the new president would have the government collect healthcare taxes, and the government would tell the healthcare providers what kinds of healthcare to provide, how much to provide and what kinds of drugs to use.  That way the government would pay the healthcare providers less, and the people would have only the healthcare that the government says they should have.

Some of the people thought this tired, old, government-provided, healthcare program that performed miserably in every country where it was tried would solve all the problems.  Other people thought that the healthcare providers were providing the best healthcare already (after all, the best thing ever is to have the most effective healthcare when you need it), and they thought if the healthcare providers got paid less, the healthcare they provide might not be as effective (after all, it takes a lot of effort and skill to provide effective healthcare).  Well, the president said he knew what was best, and he had the government start paying for everyone’s healthcare.

At first, the people weren’t unhappy.  The healthcare providers still provided effective healthcare, and it cost less.  The people paid some healthcare taxes, but the healthcare taxes were mostly less than what the healthcare used to cost.

In fact, now that healthcare was free (the people just paid healthcare taxes and nothing extra for the actual healthcare), the people demanded more and more healthcare, especially primary healthcare.  Instead of just the amount of primary healthcare that they used to demand, people now demanded a lot more primary healthcare.  The healthcare providers had difficulty providing enough healthcare.  Soon there were healthcare shortages, and the people were waiting on long lines for healthcare. 

In fact, even though the government was paying lower rates to the healthcare providers, so much primary healthcare was being provided that the nation was spending more on healthcare than it used to when the people bought their own healthcare.  So the president said he knew just what to do.

The president said that healthcare taxes would just have to go higher and the rates for healthcare would just have to go lower and that the drugs used in providing healthcare would have to cost less, too.  But because the people now demanded so much primary healthcare, the government was still spending too much for healthcare. 

So the president said that specialist healthcare would have to cost less, too; especially healthcare provided using innovative drugs.  Now the healthcare providers were having more difficulty.

The healthcare providers were paid lower rates for healthcare, so they didn’t have as much money to pay the pharmaceutical companies.  They had to pay lower rates to the pharmaceutical companies for existing kinds of drugs (just like the president said), and they weren’t able to pay the pharmaceutical companies very much at all for new and innovative kinds of drugs (so no more innovative drugs for new diseases). 

Because the pharmaceutical companies were paid less, they weren’t as interested in providing the best drugs for the most effective healthcare.  Now, primary healthcare wasn’t as effective anymore, and the healthcare providers had to stop providing as much specialist healthcare.

But the president said that was ok, because healthcare was too effective anyway.  He said healthcare didn’t have to be the best healthcare and didn’t even have to be all that effective.  Plus the president decided that, even when people needed healthcare provided with innovative drugs, a lot of the time painkillers and simply making them comfortable until they died would be just fine.  So the president said you had to get approval from the government for healthcare provided with innovative drugs. 

Still the people weren’t too unhappy yet because most people didn’t need healthcare provided with innovative drugs.  But they wished that primary healthcare was better.  And everyone seemed to know someone who was told no when they needed healthcare provided with an innovative drug.  And now the healthcare providers were having even more difficulty than before.

A lot of healthcare providers were still being asked for so much primary healthcare and the rates were so low for primary healthcare that they couldn’t afford to provide healthcare any more.  So the healthcare providers started going out of business.  Also, specialist healthcare providers didn’t do that as much any more because the government kept telling them to provide primary healthcare instead.  So they tried providing primary healthcare.  But a lot of them couldn’t afford to do that any more either.

Soon, the people didn’t have as much healthcare as they needed and didn’t even have the kinds of healthcare that they needed for the diseases that they were having.  And the people got mad because they used to have the best healthcare and now they didn’t have the best healthcare any more.

Some of the people said it was the government’s fault because it didn’t know how to tell the healthcare providers what kind of healthcare to provide at the right time, and if only the government was smarter about it, all the right healthcare for any disease would be had by all.  But other people said that things were better before the government was in charge of healthcare.  The healthcare might have cost a lot sometimes, but there were no healthcare taxes, it was the best healthcare, and it was always the right healthcare for the disease.  These people said it was the president’s fault for using the tired, old, government-provided, healthcare program that performed miserably in every country where it was tried.

Then a new president said that he would tell the government what to do better than the old president and that if the government wouldn’t do what he said, he would get the government out of healthcare.  But it didn’t work out that way.

The government was never going to get better at choosing the right kind of healthcare because they weren’t healthcare providers.  And the government was never going to get better at paying healthcare providers the right rates for healthcare because the government wasn’t the one who needed the healthcare or the one providing the healthcare.  Plus, the tired, old, government-provided, healthcare program that performed miserably in every country where it was tried was never going to go away, because too many people were now employed by the government, telling healthcare providers what to provide and trying to figure out what to pay them.

Well, it was too bad for everyone.  The nation that knew the importance of good healthcare was no longer free to choose the kind of healthcare it needed from the best healthcare in the world.  And it never would be.  What they should have done was told the president with the tired, old, government-provided, healthcare program that performed miserably in every country where it was tried, “WE NEED HEALTHCARE, and not your tired, old, government-provided, healthcare program that performed miserably in every country where it was tried.”  But they didn’t, and the United States of America was never going to be a nation with the best healthcare again.  The End.