I Knew It! People Who Watch Jon Stewart are Idiots!

I Knew It! People Who Watch Jon Stewart are Idiots!

Well, it’s something that’s been on my mind for years, but I’m so glad to see it actually confirmed in a newspaper. From the New York Times we find out that Jon Stewart fans are a bunch of egotistical self-righteous buffoons… or at least one-fifth of them.

According to ‘secret media research’ done by the geniuses at Comedy Central, at least twenty percent of all of the viewers of The Daily Show or the Colbert Report believe that people think they’re cool for doing so. (We’ll leave Stephen Colbert out of this because he’s actually funny.)

That’s right, they think that other people think they’re cool for not actually doing anything but sitting there, mouths agape. There’s a clinical term for this: college douchebags.

And you know what else drives up the Daily Show’s ratings? The fact that it’s seen as cool to watch the show, even though it’s not funny. True, many college students and pseudo-hippies don’t get the material, but if they laugh hard they can belong to something. Besides, they can be persuaded to vote– even though they’re clueless. You know, the best type of voters.

The problem is that many if not most of these viewers then do not watch any actual news because they’ve already ‘been informed’ by twenty seconds of a CNN clip that Stewart followed with a frowny face. They believe that since they’re now endowed with almighty suave from watching Comedy Central, they can go up to people and shout at them if they don’t choke down the Democratic line.

The study asked… ultimately, how important the shows and hosts are in their lives. Seriously, if a stiff like Jon Stewart is that important in your life, you should join a cult.