Dear Professor Obama

It has been a long and difficult term, but we have learned much more about change than we could have hoped. The results of the theories that you put into action are unambiguous and gratitude is owed to you not only by your American pupils, but by the world at large. You have dispelled for generations any notion that socialist policies are economically viable. Of course you do not deserve reelection on the basis of crippling America’s economy, but you do deserve a second Nobel Prize for so clearly teaching everyone that capitalism is the only way Forward.