What Liberals beleive

1) There is no such thing as deserved wealth. Anyone who is rich either stole it or inherited it. Government therefore has a responsibility to ensure that this wealth is taken away in the interest of fairness. This is why we need “progressive” income taxes. This rule does not apply to senators from Massachusetts, since there’s apparently no link between income and wealth in that state.

2) There is no such thing as deserved poverty. Poor people are poor because there is some sort of clandestine system in place that ensures that the wealthy stay wealthy, and not due to any life-decisions they might have made. This cabal runs all politics outside the Democratic party (and the Unions). Only by turning over all decision-making authority to the Democratic party can we achieve anything like “justice”.

3) Profit is fundamentally immoral, because it’s based on the principal of the job creator paying the worker less than the value of his/her work and pocketing the difference. Anyone who makes a profit can only be assumed to be working in his/her own best interest. This immorality taints all things in the private sector.

4) Religion is fundamentally undemocratic, because it attempts to impose rules on individuals, based solely on “superstition”. All religions have an implicit goal of imposing of their primitive rules on other people (Islam being the only exception). The only acceptable religions are the new age superstitions, which allow people to make up the rules as they go.

5) All moral authority therefore resides in the government, through the agency of unelected bureaucrats who, fortunately, know more than you and therefore can be trusted to make all decisions in your best interest. These government bureaucrats are the only ones who can be counted on to not be working in their own best interest. This rule does not apply if there is a Republican in the white house. The highest form of moral authority is the UN, which has NO elected officials and is therefore is clearly above operating in its own best interest.

6) There can be no freedom without health and safety. Anything that might cause the most minute health or safety hazard must therefore be regulated and controlled by people we can be assured aren’t operating in their own best interests (i.e., government bureaucrats). Even those things that don’t actually cause physical harm must be controlled, as they might, in the future, be found to cause health or safety problems, or could cause mental or emotional distress. The logical conclusion is that the only way we can be free is by turning over all decision making authority to the government.

7) If the planet isn’t healthy, none of us are free. Therefore anything that might effect the planet or the climate (like exhaling) must be regulated by the government is any of us are to be free.

8) All white people must bear and accept the responsibility for all of the bad things that have happened to people of color, everywhere. This is much like the concept of original sin – there is no time limit on this and there is no redemption. Guilt has a long memory, and nothing has really changed since 1960. However, it’s in poor taste to blame the Democratic party for generations of support of slavery, establishment and enthusiastic enforcement of Jim Crow laws, the use of the Klan as its military arm, its opposition to civil rights legislation, and its continuing cynical practice of race-baiting; those things were all in the past and must be forgotten.

9) No individual has the right to the work of another human being. However, everyone has the right to health care, and the poor have a right to housing, food stamps, child care, and an education. That’s because those things are provided by the government and not by people.