I know many in the GOP are worried that after a bruising GOP primary fight for Governor, we would enter the General election as a party divided. My cousin (Not via the Eng and Chang side of her family however, according to my genealogy obsessed Brother-in-law) The Democrat candidate Alex Sink has ensured that this will not happen.
Today, with great fanfare, my alleged cousin unveiled an energy plan that encompasses every loony left principle that, if implemented, would guarantee higher energy costs for every man, woman child and indoor pet across Florida. It would guarantee that industry would flee to those states that have a more realistic, practical energy policy that (this is the important part!) RESULTS IN CHEAPER ENERGY COSTS!
Here is a copy of her plan: You can download it here. This plan is the stuff that unicorns are made of. Here are some of the key parts:
1) Affordable Solar power (only obtainable by massive tax subsides):- Check. Read about the true cost of Solar Power here and compare the size of the plant IN FLORIDA required to make 75,000 kilowatts vice the adjacent natural gas plant that make 3,800 MEGAWATTS of power. Why waste our efforts on an energy source that cannot exist without tax dollars? Sort of like accepting federal funds to construct a high speed rail that will require public money to operate without going broke if you ask me….
2) Promoting Energy Efficiency: -Check. Why?: Because we all know the cost of energy is going to go WAY up because we will be reducing our use of EVIL coal and oil. Indeed, as a good Democrat, my cousin will support the Obama administration in its “Cap and Trade” efforts because that means more revenue to the state so the government can hand out more free money to the Solar Power Scams businesses so they can continue to exist and not go bankrupt since they cannot compete with oil and coal on a level playing field. Never mind that all us poor schmucks who own a home and pay our bills will bear the brunt of the costs. Sorry Joe Citizen who pays his mortgage, bills and taxes on time and in full.. you are on the hook for this because..well you pay your mortgage, bills and taxes on time and in full. You MUST be punished…
3) Create a “Climate Action Team”: – Check. Forget about forming a “Let’s Make Energy More Cheaper, Plentiful Team”. Hell No, that might attract more businesses and put more money in the pocket of the average person who, well you know “Pays their mortgages, bills and taxes on time and in full”. Heaven forbid that we concentrate on an energy policy whose goals are cheaper electricity for one and all. Nope, we need a “Climate Action Team” which is code for “Raise Your Taxes to Support Junk Science Team”
4) Bio Fuels: – Check. I quote from my cousin’s plan:
“The United States has more land suitable for cultivation than China, Russia, Australia or any other single country. With our unique blend of sunshine, agriculture and other natural resources, Florida can become a national leader in biofuels and biomass renewable energy for tomorrow.”
Never mind that Ethanol requires massive subsidies and that those subsidies come from…. err… let me think..it’s coming to me.. Oh yes now I remember, Joe Citizens who “Pay their mortgages, bills and taxes on time and in full” because they well, as stated earlier, “Pay their mortgages, bills and taxes on time and in full”. Also, Food prices need to rise so we eat less so we lose weight.
5) And Finally the Pièce de résistance, my cousin actually endorses Nuclear Power (sort of): I quote:
“Older nuclear power plants produce electricity at low rates – which is why the current generation of nuclear energy helps keep electric rates affordable. However, new nuclear plants are expensive to build and will raise customer bills to cover the capital costs. Because of this, it is critical to look at the entire economic and financial equations when making long-term investments in new power plants [SNIP] Nuclear power should not deter Florida’s increased investment in other renewable resources such as solar, biofuels and ocean current. Only by investing in all of these technologies can Florida drive down energy prices as the demand for renewable energy increases.”
So cousin, let me get this straight: Nuclear Power provides cheap energy, but we need to concentrate on other renewable power sources because they produce more expensive energy?
Question: if we can produce plentiful, cheap power using Nuclear plants that will have to be built, maintained and operated by Americans vice investing in, let’s say, Solar Panel Research (that eventually will wind up being used by cheap labor markets – aka China – who take advantage of our R&D and then will sell back to us solar panels that cost more per kilowatt to use than Nukes and while at the same time increase our trade deficit), WHY THE HELL DOESN’T THIS COUNTRY CONCENTRATE ON SAFE CLEAN CARBON-FREE NUCLEAR TECHNOLOGY THAT ALREADY EXISTS? Is it because no one believes the Democrats when they say they will support more Nukes? Let’s ask Nancy Pelosi that question. Or Harry Reid, who tried to shut down Yucca Mountain.
Quick, everyone reading this who believes the Obama Administration and Democrats in general support more Nuclear Power, raise your hand. Ok, now check to see if you are raising your hand. If you are, please sign over to me all your worldly possessions, because you are one gullible idiot.
So thanks, cousin, for your energy proposal. I hereby promise to vote for whomever wins the GOP nomination because, well I’m a guy who pays his mortgage, bills and taxes on time and in full. And, I truly think there is a chance a Republican Governor will be willing to invest in the only real 21st century alternative to hydro-carbon fuels…. you know, Nuclear Power that creates cheap, plentiful electricity so I can afford to run my Air-Conditioning at full blast and keep my beer ice-cold while I watch REAL Football (not soccer) on my massive 96 inch LED 3D TV.