Schillers' Flood: Liberating Liberals at NPR*PBS*CPB

Barone the Brilliant’s been wondering what’s in the Washington water cooler at NPR.

And, as usual, he’s right. With or without additives, something’s flooded today’s Liberal brain, destroying much in its path. What’s worse, NPR employees who drink DC tap risk earlier dementia and drowning.

Regardless of political philosophy, all decent citizens mourn such a fate. Yet like Noah, New Orleans (and as Barone wrote, the National Trust for Historic Preservation), NPR, PBS and CBC have a chance to rebuild after the deluge; and perhaps, be stronger for it.

Sooner or later, most of us get zapped by a flood, even sad swimmers like Charlie Sheen. Stunned, newly washed and glad to be alive, the really smart ones become Conservatives, determined to conserve their families, futures, and country. And, where the code for today’s Conservative Party is SOS, to do a whole lot better next time. 

Like most Americans, the Corporation for Public Broadcasting’s now consigned to jump on the “Save America First” Ship or drown. 

The majority of real, regular American families already know what limited budgets are. Somehow we’ve learned what the meaning of finite is without completely sinking. 

Most grasp the true value of budgets because they’ve been forced to. They’re out of money, running out of money, and/or wise enough to know they need to be careful with it.    

Running out of money and being careful with it is something that happens less often to today’s union members, to Americans supported by our tax dollars, to Government employees, Hollywood stars, lottery winners, athletes, many students, tenured teachers and professors.  

It’s no coincidence that 9 in 10 people not worried about running out of money are Liberals. Like the first 2 little pigs, when most people don’t have to worry, they don’t. 

Of course, running out of money is also something that happens less often to very rich families, those F. Scott Fitzgerald described as “careless” and “different from you and me.” There’s much about the real world they can’t grasp because they don’t have to.

It’s also no coincidence that several of the very rich aim to be Senators, anxious to apply their different, not-applicable policies to you and me. But they’re not just different from regular, common sense Americans. Their careless, destructive ways have failed so long and so miserably that America’s entire ship is sinking. 

Word has it America has to worry now.  As always, only a few good men and a multitude of good women have the guts to stand up to pigs run wild.

Still, we can always stretch and look at the bright side. Beyond the fact that America has no choice, running out of money can build character, something boatloads of Liberals now lack. 

Besides character, adversity can also build endowments, and it’s liberating for everyone when Liberals come out of the closet, no matter where they work. Liberals can now pool all their money, fund their own corporation and sail forth. While oceans are filled with sharks, some dolphins remain.

And ever faithful to Elmo, most of us, regardless of political philosophy, will continue to support and watch the CPC’s best.

Thanks to the Schillers, more people have proof they speak a language that’s different from SOS. And regardless of them, America’s realized she can’t afford to have CBC at the public trough. It’s a fact of life above all others that strong swimmers and survivors call the bottom line.