America's First Brown President

I’m a TeaPartyPatriot who, like Sarah Palin, will never be honestly confused with a bag, even by Liberal haters like Schumer, Matthews & Schultz. 

Today’s the only day I wish I lived in Massachusetts, but most of my friends really are Liberals.

My best Liberal friend’s fiscally conservative. She balances her family budget carefully and well, like all wise governments should. She’s old enough to add right, know better, and voted for Obama anyway. 

Ironically, my budget-balancing friend often repeats a familiar Liberal line, one of her favorites: nothing in this world is black or white.

Most Conservatives think that’s false, as false as Barack Obama and his no-good, horrible, terrible, very bad bantam band.

Besides numbers, many principles are black and white, right and wrong. But  most post-post-modern Liberals disagree, and it’s a major reason so many are Godless.

God had the temerity to write certain rules in stone, earlier forms of black and white. 

What’s worse, along came that young upstart Jesus. He had the unmitigated gall to re-explain God’s rules in fair, balanced, unhateful ways, anathema to shipsful of LIBS.

Today, most LIBS aren’t wild about God or His scruffy old standards. But they’re simply mad about the color Gray.

Actually, any color will do, as long as it’s not black or white. To most LIBS, colors are as winsome as “ties.” Just ask NBC, which didn’t choose a peacock logo for nothing. 

In all contests, a tie eliminates the possibility that LIBS will be declared LOSERS. Double the pleasure when ties, glorious ties, ensure that despised Conservative Alpha-types have no chance of being declared WINNERS, no matter what color they are.

Like ties, the colors Gray, Purple, Blue, Green, and High-yellow make Liberals look good. 

The first color to make LIBS look really bad is Red, right up there next to Black and White. 

Now, you guessed it, the second casualty color topping the Liberal Detested Species List…….is hot off the press and brand new Brown.

I don’t know soon-to-be Senator Scott Brown, but like many, I became an instant supporter when he politely declared 4 soulful words: “It’s the People’s Seat.”

The last American to express such significant, game-changing words was Ronald Reagan, when he politely demanded: “…tear down this wall.”

Scott Brown’s another one of those leaders like Ronald Reagan. If he were a horse, he’d be Seabiscuit, scorned by many until supporters revealed his true colors and let him win.