Consider the Majorette Twirling Baton.

This is a Sharp Baton Model #10 Twirling Baton:


Size ranges from 17 to 19 inches. It is constructed out of tempered steel, of a thickness of 3/8 of an inch – which means that it is light enough to be moved quickly, yet strong enough not to bend on impact against flesh. Note the white bulbs at the end, which will increase accuracy of blows without sacrificing too much in the way of impact trauma (less of a consideration on a purely crushing weapon than on one with a cutting edge). And, of course, it is center-balanced, which means that the momentum of the backswing after a strike will not be too ungainly. In short, while I’d rather have a Louisville Slugger M9 Series Maple Wood Baseball Bats – C271 – Natural in a sticky situation, this is not actually a bad club to have.

Which is my intro to saying, Don’t mug girls in marching band.

Girl beats off muggers with marching band baton

QUARTZ HILL, Calif. (AP) — Don’t mess with a marching band girl, especially one armed with a baton. A 17-year-old high school marching band student beat up two assailants who tried to mug her as she walked to school in this high desert community about 40 miles north of Los Angeles, sheriff’s officials said Tuesday.

The girl punched one of the men in the nose, kicked the other in the groin and beat both with her large baton before she ran away on Friday morning, officials said.

I mean, you shouldn’t mug anybody – but you definitely shouldn’t mug girls in marching band. They can do anything that they like to you, up to and including beating you with a club, and the cops will just laugh as they book you.

Crossposted to Moe Lane.