Diary

McCain's victory is now assured.

Although I regret to say that I do not really approve of the manner in which this was done. From The World’s Only Reliable News:

OCTOBER SURPRISE: UFO ALIEN NOW ENDORSES McCAIN!

WASHINGTON, DC – In a shocking reversal with major implications for the U.S. presidential election, political kingmaker, the Alien has switched his endorsement from Barack Obama to John McCain amid furor. Both political camps are buzzing about the implications, as the Alien has correctly predicted the winning president in every election for the past 28 years.

Ongoing investigation points to Cindy McCain as being the cause for this historic shift in allegiances.

Uncovered photos suggest that in a last ditch effort to help her husband’s failing campaign, Cindy McCain seduced and then blackmailed the Alien for his endorsement.

I am sorry to have to include that, but if the Weekly World News says it, it must be so.As all observers of the 2008 election know, the GOP was absolutely devastated by The Alien’s public break with the Party in August. While I have not yet confirmed that The Alien has picked every winner of the US Presidential election since 1980 (because, well, it’s the Weekly World News saying it), I can personally attest that this has been a severe worry for the McCain campaign. In fact, I suspect that this may have been behind the oddly-delicate resolution of BatBoy’s crush on Meghan McCain: obviously, the GOP was understandably nervous of burning any bridge between the Party and such a crucial endorsement, no matter how small. Or bat/human hybrid-y.

But all’s well that ends well, yes?

Moe Lane

PS: No word yet on whether The Alien’s endorsement may have a simpler answer.

PPS: I would also like to note for the record that I suspect the Manigator of being an Democratic Party plant, and call for them to renounce his actions.