The Cake is a Lie

the cake is a lie
The Democrats must not be very proud of their health plan.

If I came up with a health care plan that provided all Americans with universal coverage, protected the 45 million people without health insurance, did so without rationing treatment, prevented insurance companies from denying coverage, didn’t cut Medicaid and Medicare benefits for seniors, AND provided significant cost savings over the current system I’d be proud of it.

I would be out there everyday talking exclusively about my health plan, ignoring all other distractions. I’d sit down with every major network primetime news cast. I’d have my staff write columns and do interviews with every major print publication.

In an effort to explain my plan to as many Americans as possible, I’d go on daytime talk shows like Oprah and The View, I’d go on late night comedy shows like the Daily show and Redeye, and I’d sit down with political commentators like Cooper, Anderson and Bill O’Rilley.

I’d have national hotlines, web casts, hosted chats and discussions. I’d push every Senator and Congressman to host open town halls, allowing the American people to voice their concerns, ask questions and get answers. I’d fill those town halls not with members of unions, political action committees, or cronies that support everything I do, but with ordinary people. Regular folks that might be confused or even worried about my plan. I’d have representatives stay, hours on end to ensure each question is addressed and answered.

But this isn’t what’s happening…

Instead Democrats are packing supposed “town halls” with unions and “community trust organizations”, blocking the doors and only letting in people wearing union t-shirts. Some Democrats are skipping the town hall entirely instead opting for phone halls, where dissent can be muted and questions can easily be cherry picked, scripted, or even staged. Worse yet, some democrats are ignoring the public entirely, hosting no health care events.

What’s more they are actively attacking anyone who questions their plan. Painting doubters as well dressed but violent, swastika thumping, radical birthercrat mobsters who only show up because they are on the insurance company dole.

All the while, Democrats are treating their miraculous government health care plan like an illegitimate bastard son. I.e. the same way they treat America. Either they aren’t very proud of it, or they don’t want you to know what it’s all about.

The Cake is a Lie is a phrase popularized by a 2007 video game: Portal. The plot involves the protagonist, Chell, being forced by a Hal-9000esque AI to complete a series of complex mazes, called test chambers, in the name of Science. As the game progresses the tests increase in complexity and in the risk of serious injury or even death to the player. Thoughout the journey the lab rat is encouraged by the AI that she is doing quite well and will be rewarded with “cake” should she successfully complete all the test chambers.

The nature of the cake is never detailed by the AI, only that it is delicious. Once Chell has completed all the tests she is moved along a platform seemingly heading toward her reward. However it is this point that the AI tells the player that the experiment is complete, but “the cake is a lie”. The platform is directed toward a fire pit where the player is to be killed even as the AI tries to reassure that everything is normal.

(From Urban Dictionary)

The Cake is a Lie: Implies that a promised reward for one’s work is false, with the one proffering the reward never intending to give it in the first place, possibly because the reward never even existed. This phrase can be used to express grief or frustration regarding any situation where there is an imbalance between effort and reward.

Your promised reward is merely a fictitious motivator.

I feel that the ‘cake promise’ is the epitome of DC Politick of late. A series of monumental and fundamental changes to our economy, our laws, and our way of life. Usually carried out in singular magnanimous bills with little public debate or oversight in the name of some idealistic goal that doesn’t really explain why it needs to be so big or spend so much. The cake/goal is always a carefully crafted motivational device, but it is never really detailed and often it is never explained what the goal (cake) has to do with the proposal (test chambers). From the TARP package to the Universal Health Care bill the common phrase has been “all we have to do is X and things will be better” (or of course the politics of fear oposite: “If we fail to do X things will only get much much worse.)” Do X = Things will get better, things will be equal and just, things will be fair and right, our economy and our nation will be restored. And we will have cake.

All we have to do is X and there will be cake.

(What follows is an assortment of diffrent cake promises. If you just want the health care cake, scroll down to the next bold sentance)

All we have to do is elect a one partial term Senator to the highest office in the land, ignoring any possible Chicago affiliations he has with Ayers, Wright or Resko. Mentioning any of these things is racist. Ignore his a complete lack of foreign policy and any gaffs equating Russia and Georgia during the most recent Red-army invasion. We just need to overlook his poor choice of a running mate, that his supporters argue enhances his foreign policy experience in spite of the fact Joe Biden has been wrong on almost every diplomatic issue in modern history. Once we do this the economy will be restored, our nation will be respected in the world, the planet will heal, and our problems will be solved. And there will be cake.

All we have to do is pass a $787 billion dollar stimulus package, the largest spending bill in the history of economics. The equivalent of spending $2,000,000 a day for over 2000 years. And it was passed without having our Senators and Congressmen read the bill. Once we do this the economy will be restored, unemployment will not surpass 8%, we will have green jobs, new roads, energy efficient housing, new transit systems. And there will be cake

All we have to do is give GM $30 billion MORE dollars on top of the $25 billion gave to GM and Chrysler. They’re not flying private jets to DC to beg for money this time. They have already got costs under control even if they won’t specify what those costs are or what they did to get them under control. The unions built this country and we gave (loaned) billions to bailout the banking industry even though that argument isn’t connected to any other statement nor does it explain why we should give money to any industry. Once we do this GM won‘t have to declare bankruptcy, the dealers and the parts manufactures will be saved, the middle class will be protected, we will have green car jobs and economic growth. And there will be cake.

All we have to do is pass the $410 billion dollar OMIBUS spending package less than two weeks after the stimulus bill. Once we do this we will have completed all of the 2009 spending that we needed to do to ensure we spent enough money for 2009. (Sorry but nobody really knows what the OMIBUS does other then spend last years money.) And there will be cake.

All we have to do is have the President fly to Cairo, apologize to a people we’ve never harmed, for things we’ve never done. Once we do this all terrorists will surly realize the error of their ways. The moderate Taliban will negotiate (and follow) a peace treaty. Suicide bombings in Afghanistan and Pakistan will halt. The Palestinians will release Gilad Shalit, an Israeli soldier they have held for they‘ve held for over three years. The Global War on Terror Overseas contingency operations will be over. America will be respected in the world. And there will be cake.

All we have to do is pass the Cap and Trade bill, the largest single tax increase in American history disproportionately impacting energy prices in the South and Midwest over the West Coast and the Northeast. Further crippling what is left of American manufactures, raising energy costs for small businesses, and effectively putting an energy tax on everything that is manufactured, sold or shipped in this country. Once we do this our economy will be green, India and China will surly follow our risky unilateral example. The earth will be restored and we’ll all be trading our excess carbon credits. And there will be cake.

All we have to do is have the President negotiate an arms reduction treaty with the Russians scarifying missile defense to get a mutual treaty that would reduce both nations stockpiles of nuclear weapons by half. Ignore the fact that we still don’t know what procedures are used to safeguard nuclear weapons from the START I and START II arms treaties. Ignore the fact we can’t send inspectors to ensure these weapons don’t end up in the hands of terrorists. Ignore the fact that we would give up our only way to protect ourselves from a North Korean missile, or to protect Europe or Israel from an Iranian one. Ignore that we would give up all this for a missile treaty with a nation that hasn’t been a truly relevant enemy to us for 20 years. Ignore that we still don’t have the Russians on board for tough sanctions against Iran. And there will be cake.

All we have to do is have the President fly to the G-8 where he will get an international climate agreement that will make China and India play by the same economic rules we do. Ignore that he didn’t get any such treaty, And there will be cake.

(now that GM has gone bankrupt) All we have to do is funnel money from energy efficiency grants and TARP funds to a cash for clunkers program. GM will recover, our environment will be green(er). Our auto dealers will be saved, except the ones that are already dead. Ignore the fact that the people buying cars would have bought them eventually anyways, or that all auto-makers had to do was lower their prices last year by $4500. Ignore the fact that the program was so poorly estimated that a 3 month program lasted only 1 week. Ignore the fact that all these perfectly good cars are going to be wasted, ending up in land fills or China’s dirty steel plants. Ignore the fact that over half of the new cars sold are foreign brands. Ignore the fact that over 200,000 Americans who were driving old cars now have new monthly payments they have to make. Ignore all this; And there will be cake.

So Now All we have to do is pass the health care bill And there will be cake.

The Democrat Goverment Health Care plan isn’t a plan at all, its an experiment. The largest most complex government experiment in the history of the world. It fundamentally alters 1/6th of our economy while ignoring that no government health care program has either been solvent or avoided dangerous health rationing. It operates under the promise of providing health care to people who don’t have it, yet no ER in this nation will refuse to treat a life threatining injury. It operates under the promise of giving health insurance coverage to the 45 million Americans who don’t have it, although 33 million could be covered under current programs or are currently covered under their spouse’s plan. The remainder could be covered under any number of less costly proposals. It operates under the goal of reducing costs even though the CBO says it will increase costs each and every year going forward.

The Cake is a lie