Diary

Oh-O! The "rebooted" Hawaii Five-O looks Lame-O.

Completely off political-topic, but a person has to wonder…

Will the new Hawaii Five-0 (debuting tonight on CBS) make Jack Lord roll over in his grave… again? (It’s the second remake.) The signs are not good, my friends.

First, the fact that it’s being oh-so-cleverly promoted as a “reboot” (not just a re-make) has me worried. Everyone knows you only have to reboot something when it’s stalled. The fact that the producers have said they’re making it “faster and funnier” REALLY worries me. Faster and funnier? That’s what Hawaii Five-O needed?

And, in a TV sacrilege, hunky-boy actor Alex O’Laughlin has taken on the role of flinty Steve McGarrett. Sighhhhhh. In the photo below that’s him on the left; the new “Dan-O” is on the right.

steve

Plus, big beefy Kono has been replaced by skinny underwear model/actress Grace Park…

Grace

And then there’s a confused new opening for the show, which can’t decide if it wants to be a homage to one of the greatest TV opens of all time, or a mashup, or what. And what the hell – they could only afford one Wal-Mart synthesizer to record the music? As I said, O-oh…

My prediction: This new show will be the Charlie Christ of the TV season… nice tans, but utterly vacuous and without much substance.

Reboot, indeed… right into the Diamond Head crater.