The Ground Zero Mosque-Gate Conspiracy

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Before sharing my latest effort at humor, allow me to ask (if nobody has asked yet) whether the progressives and their Islamo-fascist allies are now ok with depicting the M person in cartoons? After all, it is protected by the First Amendment, and at worst may be offensive to a few bigots and extremists. Just wondering…

Rahm Emmanuel is smart and ruthless. Barak Obama is a narcissistic politician. That doesn’t really inform us on the correctness of their policy ideas. But it does give us some insight on the scheming which may explain their tactics. Why did Rahm let the President jump into Mosque-Gate with no apparent thought of the short term political impact?

Here is one possible explanation. Unless it actually is confirmed by events, there is no way to know if it is true, but what the heck, conspiracy theories are fun to contemplate.

Imagine the White House brain trust contemplating the downward spiral in the polls and the November, 2010 elections. Imagine Obama, Emmanuel, and Axelrod in what they think is a private conversation. Twenty years later, during the Emmanuel Administration, the record has been unsealed and on a White House tour by a group of interns in 2031, the truth is shown on a hologram.

“We bleepin need a bleepin public relations coup to convince the bleepin voters that you are a great bleepin leader, sir.”

“That’s what you said about the BP spill. How did that work out for us?”

“Those dumb bleepin Brits let us down. They bleepin assured me they would have that bleepin hole capped in a bleepin week or two. “

“Yeah…and I came across looking like a bleepin putz. Am I using “putz” correctly, Rahm?”

“Yeah, yeah….exactly right— but this time I have a bullet proof plan.”

(Axelrod rolls his eyes and seems to be cringing, but says nothing.)

Flashing that winning dead fish smile, Rahm in a low voice reveals that

“My guys have the goods on that bleepin Imam. He’s a bleepin alcoholic and we have compromising pictures of him with a slutty Jewish blond Obama girl. You know who I mean…her bleepin father is a huge bleepin contributor. Now she is too.”

After the chuckles die down, Axelrod asks sarcastically how that will be useful.

Rahm thinks “What a bleepin moron!” but says, let’s have the chief seem to make an ill considered statement of support for the bleepin mosque.”

Looking up from some travel brochures, the Commander in Chief asks timidly “how will that help?”

“Please pay attention sir. I told you that Aruba is just too close to Venezuela. Tomorrow night at that bleepin Ramadan dinner, tell them you support the mosque because that’s what James Madison would have wanted. Then, after the weekend, back off and tell New Yorkers you understand their concern that it might be hurtful to the bleepin relatives of the 9/11 victims”. (Axelrod looks aghast)

Glaring at Axelrod, “Now here’s the payoff. In return for keeping his secrets, the bleepin Imam will visit the White House for a root beer summit and the two of you will emerge with an agreement to build the mosque up in bleepin Harlem. Two statesmen showing the world how Islam truly is a religion of peace and tolerance. You won’t reveal the secret agreement to ship some F15s to Hamas until after the elections”

“Is Tahiti too close to China? Hey…I’m the bleepin President. Don’t look at me that way.”

Axelrod pipes up, “That just might work, Rahmmy.”

And that boys and girls is how the Imam and President Obama became such good friends. Look at the time! We have to hurry out to the Rose Garden. They’re stoning a right wing transgendered lesbian at noon.