The Truth Shall Get You Impeached

The 2016 election launched so many new narrative reinforcement devices (NRDs), historians of stupid will be unpeeling that onion five, maybe six years from now. Not seven, cause by then their laptops will be submerged beneath the rising seas.

One of the niftiest NRDs launched in 2016 was the invention of the Russky truth — an inconvenient fact about a prominent Democrat that’s 1) true, 2) the media can’t easily blackout or memory hole. When Wikileaks released the hacked John Podesta emails showing, among other things, that the supposedly neutral DNC had conspired with the Clinton camp against Bernie Sanders, the Democrats/media had a problem.

The same media that had made Julian Assange a star — back when he was doing righteous work like leaking the identities of American assets in Afghanistan — would need some time to delegitimize the guy. That’s since been accomplished but at the time, the Wikidump caught fire quick and the HRC team was caught red-handed.

Denied the ability to bury the emails, dispute their authenticity, or (instantly) malign the platform that released them into irrelevance, the DNC, their friends in the federal police state and the media (or making their transition from the federal police state to the media) had an epiphany: It doesn’t matter if the information is true. Bernie Sanders supporters, Republicans, independents who look askance at corruption… have no right to know what we don’t want them to know!

That kind of information, the kind that exposes Democrat corruption, must be tainted by its provenance — it is… a Russky truth! So much worse than a lie that nonetheless speaks (less-than-truthy) truth to power, a Russky truth, while technically correct, must come from dirty, unsexily exotic white guys who swill vodka from nesting dolls under onion domes while their prostitute wives urinate on mattresses for dirty money. That kind of truth should not be known!

Conversely, provenance is a non-issue as regards patriotic lies. Trump didn’t pay for the pee. Cohen didn’t visit Prague. Carter Page didn’t conduct a seance for a group of hairy, naked Russian oligarchs in which Oleg Deripaska confessed that US quarterback Tom Brady is a KGB plant. No matter, you can buy those lies, from Russkies, through a shady British middleman, and spread them around with no evidence at all. It’s all good KG-bay-B!

The Russkiness of a truth/lie (whatever, same diff) is determined by whether it helps or harms the narrative. If you’re on a slow elevator with your Democrat Congressmen when he rips one, you can either allow the Russification of your olfactory senses, or suck in that sweet, fresh elevator air and say thank you sir, may I have another.

Same with the Ukraine sham. Did Hunter Biden score mega fossil fuel dough off of daddy’s position? Of course he did. Did Daddy say on tape that he held up the billion bucks to get the prosecutor fired? Yep. Did Ukrainian officials work with DNC ops to throw shade on their opponents during the 2016 election. Yes! But those are dirty Ukrainian truths, you treasonous traitor, you!

Like a jilted Bernie bro, you have no right to know how your betters are getting over on you. That’s been the story since 2016. Get used to it. The closer we get to the 2020 elections, or the next three impeachments, more facts will get the Russky jacket.