Diary

Breaking; Obama Deploys Army and Police Ahead of Tax Increase

 A sign of things to come;

Washington DC, April 23 (Reuters) – The government put police and the army on high alert to help deter riots and demonstrations as it prepared to announce tax increases on income, gasoline, carbon dioxide and flour tomorrow.

National Guard and police riot squads were deployed at strategic locations throughout the country. Anonymous sources speculated this would be primarily at locations where so-called “Tea Parties” were hosted on April 15th. They also stated that further restrictions would be placed on ownership of firearms to prevent those most likely to commit violence from acting. The source further confirmed our government will “use state pistol registrations to find those most likely possessing guns and involved with the latest round of ammunition hoarding.

President Obama told the nation during a national broadcast early today that “Americans should brace for tougher times because Bush left the economy in shambles and was the sole cause for Democrats recent wave of government spending”, expected to reach over $10 trillion. Mr. Obama further stated “this situation gave him no choice except to indebt future generations, privatize irresponsible companies, and nationalize our healthcare system in order to correct this economic disaster”. To fund this substantial expenditure Mr. Obama stated he had “no choice, but to raise taxes on the wealthiest Americans”. When asked by Fox News to define wealthy, Mr. Obama scolded the unnamed journalist and called him a “right wing hack”. It was also reported that other journalists applauded Mr. Obama’s comments and threw tea bags at the Fox News Reporter. At the end of the session Mr. Obama apologized “in the interest of bipartisan spirit”.

The Republican Party stated they were relying on consultants to help them formulate a position that would be ready by next week. Until then party representatives said they would not take any action. However, this did not deter the Daily Kos and MoveOn.org from saying violent opposition to the crackdown was being organized by the “GOP, right wing nuts, guns owners, moms with strollers and the usual wealthy party backers”. One blogger, quoted in a front page story for tomorrows New York Times called it “Astroturf”.

Starbucks reported they were hiring private security to protect their locations to stop any potential looting.

There was also an unconfirmed report that Michelle Malkin and Laura Ingraham were placed under house arrest for “stoking the violence certain to be part of any gathering involving so many unsavory elements”.

*This is a breaking news story. Please check back for more updates.