Oprah's Almost Perfect Life

Now that Barry has been elected President, Oprah can finally give up dieting and just be herself. From a story in the UK Guardian,

Forget about a black man becoming president. America has passed a new milestone this week, and one few expected to see. The most famous dieter in a weight-obsessed country has announced that she is chucking out the calorie counter: ladies and gentlemen, Oprah Winfrey has stepped off the scales.

Oprah has announced on the cover of her magazine, O, that she is giving up her lifelong, highly emotional, sporadically successful, often not, diet. Yet judging from the accompanying photo of her, shrugging unhappily in a tracksuit, this proclamation is less triumphantly liberating than sadly defeatist.

Alas, to be that carefree, no longer worried about the way she looks, no longer worried about her health, no longer feeling as if she doesn’t fit the bill. Barry has single handedly taken care of all of those insecurities. If for nothing else we should be thankful for the 52% of American voters who have allowed this tormented and tortured woman to finally be free. Now if only Sarah Palin would come on her show; life would be perfect.