Navy commissions the USS William Jefferson Clinton

As a 6 year U.S. veteran sailor I am proud to pass this along to everyone.

The USS William Jefferson Clinton (CVS1) was commissioned today at a ribbon cutting ceremony.

The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and a standing legacy to President Bill Clinton for his “forsight in military budget cuts” and his conduct while president.

She is a 100 foot flat top, constructed entirely from recycled aluminum and completely solar powered. Top speed is 5 knots.

It boasts an arsenal of one unarmed F14 tomcat which, although it cannot be launched, forms a menacing presence.

As a standing order there are no firearms allowed onboard.

The 20 person crew is completely diversified, including all races, creeds, sex and sexual orientation.

This crew, like the crew of the USS Jimmy Carter, is specially trained to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of the U.S. and her allies.

An onboard type 1 DNC universal translater can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may find America offensive. The number of apologies are limitless and though some may seem hollow and disingenous, the Navy advises all apologies will sound very sincere.

The ships purpose is not definedso much as a unit of national defense, but instead in times of conflict, the USS Clinton has orders to seek refuge in Canada.

Smoking is not permitted, although cigars are welcome on national holidays.

The type of ensign being flown is unknown, if any.

The ship may be positioned near the democratic national party headquarters for photo ops. You may be intelligent or you may be on the left, but you must admit that is some ship!!!!