I Have "strong ties to Koch brothers" - Who Knew?

The Associated Press reporter Ryan J. Foley wrote an intriguing article called ‘Cain has strong ties to Koch brothers.’ Ever since The New Yorker’s Jane Mayer wrote a flimsy piece of nonsensical rubbish attempting to link the Koch brothers to the Tea Party, everyone who pretends to be a journalist has been tying up the facts into knots in an attempt to brand all conservatives as employees of these patriotic conservatives. For the most part, their efforts have fallen flat.  But, Foley has written a tight, spot-on piece that directly links Herman Cain to the notorious Brothers Koch.  I was therefore shocked to find out that I too have ‘strong ties’ to these billionaires.

From the October 18, 2011 StarTribune, AP’s Foley reports this first nexus between the presidential candidate and the Koch brothers. “Cain’s economic ideas, support and organization have close ties to two billionaire brothers who bankroll right-leaning causes through their group Americans for Prosperity.”  Oh no!  So Cain’s belief in limited, smaller government is the same as AFP?  So is mine.  Cain has used the support and organizational assets of AFP?  So have I.

This isn’t looking good.

I attended RightOnline which was sponsored and ran by Americans for Prosperity.  I enjoyed going to the breakout sessions, speaking with Dan Gainor and other speakers.  I went to the speeches and enjoyed listening to great Americans talk about taking back this country from progressive/socialist elitists determined to classify and stratify the productive class of this country.  I took advantage of both their resources and their support for a cause I believe in.  I even joined the group and sent them dues.  That is shocking.  I guess I now have a ‘strong tie’ to the Koch brothers.  But, only one. Right?

Oh no, as I read the article, I am struck at how deeply I am in the pocket of these men.  Foley writes, “Block and Cain sometimes traveled together as they built up AFP: Cain was the charismatic speaker preaching the ills of big government; Block was the operative helping with nuts and bolts.”  They traveled together, perhaps in the same car.  They worked together on the goal of limiting the size and scope of government.  Well, that ominous.  But, I’m worse.

I live in Minnesota and I buy gasoline that is refined in a Koch owned facility.  I buy Brawny paper towels.  I’ve drank out of frickin’ Dixie cups for heaven’s sake.  I’m practically bankrolling the Koch brothers and their maniacal plan to save the republic.  This is outrageous.  I have numerous ties just funding the Koch brothers and an organization they contributed to.  Herman Cain is a punter in comparison to my collusion with these men.  Regardless, I was really struck by a third piece of evidence Foley presented depicting Cain as the Koch brothers’ marionette.

“The [Cain] campaign’s outside law firm is representing AFP in a case challenging Wisconsin campaign finance regulations.”  This chilled me to the core.  I have had lunch with a paralegal at a law firm that represents Koch in some civil litigation matters here in Minnesota.  I’ve spoken to the attorney who represents Koch’s interest.  I once poured a cup of coffee for the guy.  This is getting bad.  My own ties to the Koch brothers continue to multipy.  Am I a mere pawn in the giant chess game that is American politics?  Have I become a tool for the Koch brothers to use at their whim?

I sent an email to the new director of the Minnesota chapter of Americans for Prosperity.  Does this tie me forever to these men and their nefarious purposes?

Meanwhile, across the aisle, we have a president who pushed his Energy Secretary into sending half a billion dollars to a donor of his.  He then visited the plant which has since gone broke.  This president sat in a pew and listened to a ranting lunatic praise the 9/11 terrorists for doing God’s work.  He started his campaign in the living room of a guy who tried to bomb the Pentagon.  This president has the head of GE, a company which paid no taxes last year, running his job creation task force.  He has the convicted trader George Soros funding some of his shadow organizations.  This president had as an advisor as self-professing communist as his green jobs czar.  And, I wish that was the end of the list.

I guess my ‘close ties’ to the Koch brothers, as well as Cain’s, pale in comparison to those things.  I can sleep quite soundly tonight knowing this.

Crossposted at Looktruenorth.com