We Need Geraldo on the Case!

Rush Limbaugh jokingly calls Geraldo Rivera the ‘Angel of Death’ due to his frequent proximity to the air waves when someone significant has died.  In this case, Geraldo should be on hand to report the death of journalistic standards in this country.  But Geraldo has another attribute that suggests he should be at the New York Times or Washington Post covering the Palin Email Scandal.  He was the journalist responsible for the Grand Opening of Capone’s vault.  This was another non-event that reflects exactly the kind of media hype over nothing that exemplifies Palin’s emails. 

Geraldo could be just outside the doors of the Washington ComPost breathlessly delivering the hot, fresh news that Palin’s emails reveal she sent condolences to the relatives of people who died.  He could present the exciting revelations that Palin was excited about being named John McCain’s veep candidate.  Geraldo could whine about how Palin once joked with President George W. Bush or asked Todd to pick up some milk from the store.  It’s this kind of riveting stuff, which has grown in the minds of the Politico and NPR that really makes our news sources such a vital part of American life.

I can see the headlines coming from this old fashioned Salem-style witch hunt sans the people believing they were witches. 

1.  Palin emails so boring it proves she’s a hayseed hick

2.  Produced emails so routine it proves they were edited

3.  Former Alaska governor’s emails lack Weiner pic; Film at Eleven

4.  Mama Grizzly can’t take out her own trash – delegates to daughter Willow

And of course the piece de la resistance:

5.  Palins’ life lacked intrigue, doesn’t qualify as president

All these and more like it are guaranteed to grace the front headlines of our most esteemed journalistic establishments.  They gotta say something about this, especially since they turned this into the most exciting news event since Weiner dropped trou.  They have to make something out of these lemons, why not Government Motors cars!!!

So, we need to petition Roger Ailes to get on the horn and summon Geraldo to his station.  When we witness the death of something as significant as journalistic integrity and intellectual honesty, we need the best to report it.  Certainly Geraldo is just the man for the job.