Since Greg Gutfeld suggested placing a gay bar next to the Ground Zero Mosque, I’ve begun warming to the idea. Since the Imam Rauf wants to build an edifice dedicated to bridging the gap between Islam and the West, I think Gutfeld’s idea has merit. But, we must make sure it is really a bridge and not just a pier. In order to make the hopey-changey crowd more comfortable, we need to name it after two of their most diverse and tolerant heroes of the Professional Left, Rahm Emmanuel, ballerin-O extraordinaire, and Anthony Weiner, shrieker-in-chief.
Such a place would be resplendent with symbols of left wing tolerance, diversity and open-mindedness. We would have a policy of excluding men with British accents since Weiner believes they must all be liars. We can exclude all Republicans and insurance people since he believes they are one in the same. In honor of his respect for human life, there could be an addition with a walk-in clinic for abortions. It may be a little uncomfortable for some of the mosque-goers however, because Saudis and Palestinians would also be turned away from the door. However, the Friends of Weiner could definitely afford to have extravagant Gay Pride floats paid for with their questionable donations. But, Rahm Emanuel is even a better ambassador of peace, charity and compassion.
Fishmongers would be incredibly happy to visit their benefactor’s name-sake. Mafioso, who eliminate their adversaries, would feel quite welcome and accommodated in a space named after their protege. Bankers who siphon funds into their own pockets would find the place homey. Hedge fund managers and investment brokers could have a cocktail, watch a drag show, and drop off their payoffs directly into a Rahm’s Dropbox. Those adherents to compulsory service in a civilian national security force could find mutual friends and trade paramilitary uniform ideas. However, the mentally challenged would not be admitted, with the exception of Rahm’s BFF and supporter, Lindsey Grahamnesty.
Such a place would be so welcome in a city as insular and bigoted as New York. Both gay bars and mosques are obviously excluded in the city, or so we are led to believe. This marriage of Islam and the GiBLeT community would show the world how open we are to diverse opinions and ideas, as long as those opinions and ideas are leftwing drivel.
Let’s embrace the diversity and tolerance simply spilling out of Rahm and Anthony in a demonstration of what makes America great.