Lefty’s Worst Nightmare: The Beaglescout Economic Plan to Permanently Restore American Greatness

In response to a goofy comment imagining apocalypse from free market solutions to last fall’s economic SNAFU, I imagined what I would have done if I were Emperor of Ice Cream for a day last September.

Introducing the Beaglescout Economic Plan to Permanently Restore American Greatness™ (until the socialists ruin it again with their caveman economics).


  1. No bailouts, no stimulus, no TARP. The money to restore the US and world economy has been sucked out to somewhere. The solution is to invite that money back in, not to print or borrow more money.
  2. Repeal mark-to-market and restore generally accepted accounting principles (GAAP) including historical basis for value to stabilize toxic securities. Value stability of supposedly stable securities is the goal.
  3. Repeal all capital gains and corporate taxes, which would bring the markets roaring back, and make George W. Bush tax cuts permanent, which would quiet concerns about punitive taxation and prevent the John Galt reaction we got.
  4. Alternately, repeal the 16th Amendment, shut the doors of the IRS, and pass the Fair Tax at a lower inclusive rate, like 20%, including the whole prebate plan.
  5. Repeal Sarbanes Oxley, repeal CRA, which would restore sensible lending and double the profits of public companies at two strokes of a pen.
  6. Prosecute the swindlers in Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac and elsewhere, and find the other Madoffs that are still out there swindling people. Also publicly audit the entire Federal Reserve system and mandate annual repeat audits with full transparency including internet publication. Also institute annual public audits of Federal Government spending with internet publication of results. Tie money supply, including available reserves, to gross value of all real property in the USA, no more and no less. This would restore confidence in the markets and the dollar.
  7. Improve security of US currency with RFID and security technologies. Bring back coins that are worth something, like $5, $20 and $100 coins.
  8. Declare that all credit default swaps and other forms of insurance that did not back up an actual covered security or property were immediately null and void. Same with the naked shorting that was being done at the time. Both these changes have been implemented recently.
  9. Investigate and prosecute vote fraud vigorously, including voter registration fraud and denial of voting rights to the military, since rampant frauds are destroying trust in the results of voting. Reduced trust in the voting process encourages violent revolution, since the ballot box can’t be trusted.
  10. Enforce the US Constitution fully, including provisions against dual citizenship, and the 9th and 10th Amendments.
  11. Don’t pass SCHIP reform that makes trust-fund “children” up to age 25 and children of parents earning well over the median national income eligible for “free” government health insurance. The whole bill was and is ridiculous. It must be repealed.
  12. Deregulate the insurance market for all types of insurance, allowing any US insurance company to insure in any state, thereby spreading out risk pools and lowering everyone’s rates. State insurance boards can get over themselves. This will bring competition into the health insurance market and lower administrative costs. Will insurance companies try to lower costs by denying coverage? Preventing those kind of shenanigans is what state insurance boards are supposed to be doing.
  13. Drill baby drill, push micro-nuclear plants, force Yucca Mountain through Reid’s tuchas if need be, open up 100% of outer continental shelf for drilling, open up Montana and Wyoming oil fields plus ANWR. Offer tax free billion dollar prizes for major advances in clean coal and coal gasification. Repeal ethanol boondoggle.
  14. Allow all energy production costs to be expensed in the same year they are incurred, or spread out over ten years, whichever is most beneficial. Restore the depletion allowance to all mining companies.
  15. Limit copyright to 25 years or the original owner’s lifetime, whichever lasts longer. Corporations may not own copyrights. This doesn’t do anything for the economy, but it instantly unleashes creativity in new classical and jazz music, which are currently dead because every melody worth using is copyrighted. And bringing back jazz is cool!
  16. Close the borders tight to smuggling of drugs and aliens, increase the quotas for LEGAL Mexicans, Filipinos, Canadians, and other desirable immigrants, and finish the fence.
  17. Grant individual deductions for health insurance, which would untie health insurance from employers, allowing people to form voluntary associations with which to buy group insurance, or even buy it individually.
  18. Call in all banks’ leverage to no more than 12:1. Restore Glass-Steagal
  19. Fire all political appointees in the federal government. They can be brought back slowly, in reduced numbers, as the economy recovers and tax revenues allow.
  20. Cut all federal agencies budgets by 20% except for defense. Also fire and prosecute federal employees who engage in political work on the clock.  This would be a zero tolerance rule with a whistle-blower program. If this does not produce a balanced budget keep cutting budgets until it does. The unproductive government should not be allowed to grow while the productive economy is shrinking.
  21. Cut 90% of the pages from federal regulations across the board. Make every department cut their regulations, leaving only the most important ones. Cuts should not be made by lawyers, but by subject matter experts.
  22. Pass balanced-budget Amendment.
  23. Declare war on al Qaeda and the Global Jihad Front, allowing the country to use all the tools of war in the global conflict we are currently fighting.
  24. Withhold all federal funds from locales that do not enable enforcement of federal laws including immigration laws. Withhold all federal funds from schools that do not allow ROTC programs or military recruiters.
  25. Begin phase-out of student loan programs. Strongly encourage (by means of tax and other rules changes) schools to compensate by lowering prices, laying off non-teaching faculty and staff, and selling off non-core properties. There is no good reason why tuition should be the same as the average family’s annual income. And the government should not place graduates under intolerable debt burdens immediately after graduation as the student loan programs now do.
  26. Fire all government economists. Delete their positions. Create a voluntary, outside economic advisory group for Executive and Legislative Branches, and the States, and restrict it to followers of the neo-Austrian School. Explicitly ban access to Keynesians. Encourage advisors to profit by publicizing their positions and writing articles for popular audiences. Sorry, Keynesians. But Keynes admitted he didn’t believe his own theories before he died. He just never managed to write down his revised opinions.
  27. Terminate federal arts funding. Terminate Department of Education and NCLB. Terminate PBS and Public Radio. Bring back Voice of America and translation programs of English language books to other languages, especially Arabic, the Indian subcontinental languages, and Chinese. Reduce funding to the UN and permanently reject the Law of the Sea Treaty, by statute if needed. The UN should be reduced to about 10% of its current size instead of being encouraged to become a world government.
  28. Pass 10 year sunset for all federal affirmative action laws and rules, including those from the Supreme Court. It’s time to end legal discrimination by race once and for all. The fact that a black man ran for and won the US Presidency proves that the era of Democrat Jim Crow laws is over.
  29. Tort reform to limit product liability lawsuits and restore reason in the reasonable person defense. Labor reform to ban closed shops. Prosecute (hopefully rare) union gangsterism.
  30. Managed bankruptcy for critical industries that need it, with the government guaranteeing their products to consumers, while allowing them to throw out legacy agreements that hobble them.
  31. Switch to privatized social security with investments in the free markets (including gold specie), while guaranteeing payments will be no worse than those presently in the plans.
  32. Cut back medicare/medicaid to restore them to their original purpose as safety nets for people who are temporarily down on their luck and the aged, instead of making them permanent programs for people who settle for being drunk, stupid, and poor.
  33. Restore death penalty by hanging for treason, terrorism and piracy.
  34. Prosecute treason when it occurs. This means you too, editors of the New York Times.
  35. Raise the mandatory federal retirement age from 65 to 75. Lower the minimum age at which people can work from 16 to 13.
  36. Repeal McCain-Feingold, and require 100% transparency in all campaign contributions of all dollar values, including in-kind contributions from artists, entertainers and the media who simply repeat campaign promises and publish hagiographic stories as if they were news.
  37. Begin negotiations on statehood with Puerto Rico and Guam. There is no reason in today’s world why the USA must be contiguous. We already know this because of Hawaii and Alaska, but seem to have forgotten. Create a process for other lands to apply for USA statehood. Just imagine if Iraqis could aspire to a future in which they were a part of the USA, with all the advantages that would come from it.
  38. Start selling off and privatizing federal lands in a way that maximizes long term revenue in order to pay off the national debt. First goal is to make at least 25% of Alaska privately owned.
  39. Stop all foreign aid. Encourage trade instead, which increases employment and reduces poverty instead of giving money to dictators for weapons and miltias. This would also zero out the US trade deficit, which is as high as it is precisely because of foreign aid.
  40. Prize Programs: Instead of funding research directly, issue Tax Free 1 Billion dollar prizes for successful inventions for large-scale water desalination, each 10% efficiency step for solar power, compact high-capacity batteries, and a 10 Billion dollar prize for self-sustaining space and moon colony vessels. Prizes are paid out to successful entrants (multiple winners allowed) in proportion to successful completion of criteria. Also issue a 10 billion dollar prize for installing a US flag on the moon that is clearly visible from earth. Now that’s an arts program I can believe in!
  41. Make bubble-caused losses in property value 100% deductible as expenses for up to ten years as they are incurred, without requiring the property to be sold, thereby allowing people and corporations to pay off the bubble-caused decline in their property value with zero net cost while keeping their full equity. Change bank regulations to require lenders to accept these and other early payoffs, coupled with reduction of the face value of the loan, without penalties. Early payment penalties should be illegal, and would be banned generally.
  42. The Switzerland Rule: Encourage all minors over age 12 and adults of sound mind and body to be proficient in semi-auto 7.62mm rifle (AR15 or variant) and semi-auto shotgun. Make purchase and upkeep of one standardized copy of each, including ammunition, tax deductible for each adult of sound mind and body. Declare open carry legal everywhere, overruling all state and local rules.


  1. Market recovery as foreign companies rush to move their headquarters to the US and domestic companies make plans to expand operations.
  2. Dollar quickly becomes the strongest currency in the world, as the sound money and safe commerce policies restore confidence.
  3. Employment increases, unemployment drops to near zero, see result 1 for why.
  4. Entrepreneurship, invention, and risk taking encouraged as loss of job no longer means loss of affordable health insurance.
  5. Individual accountability for health payments returns cost awareness to health care, thereby slowing and then reversing the insane recent increases in health care costs.
  6. Housing prices drop to correct 2.5 multiple of income, without penalizing homeowners while the price adjustment happens.
  7. Return of manufacturing jobs (good paying jobs for hs grads) to the US, see result 1 for why.
  8. Plenty of energy to power economic growth, which is necessary to grow our wealth.
  9. Restoration of world respect for America as the greatest place to live, bar none.
  10. Restoration of American trust in the political process, which has been severely shaken by antics from ACORN and others.
  11. Increased friendliness by small nearby countries that perceive a benefit to becoming US states. e.g. post-Castro brothers Cuba.
  12. Ensure this country will never be conquered by invasion or oppressive government. Plus reduce crime and drive anti-gun nuts to emigrate.
  13. Seize the world’s imagination with the space colonization plans and other advanced science initiatives, thus making concrete progress towards some of mankind’s greatest and most inspirational goals.

What would you have done if you had your druthers? What do you think the results would have been?