Now that Bruce Jenner has become Caitlyn Jenner, the transformation is complete in the media’s eyes.
Over a month ago, when s/he was still Bruce, I wrote this on my personal blog, which got me banned from Reddit’s LGBT subreddit.
Given that Caitlyn is now on the cover of Vanity Fair (an appropriate moniker for what the magazine has become), I am reposting this piece here, and I stand by it.
Bruce Jenner “came out” as a transsexual after a long is-he-a-she guessing game. Hey, I’m a live and let live guy, so if he wants to surgically transform himself into a eunuch with accessories, I say have at it. For that matter, if he had wanted to implant quills in his skin and resemble a human porcupine, or file his eye teeth into fangs to resemble a vampire, he would get no static from me. There are, however, limits to my suspension of disbelief, and like most people who aren’t consumed by fantasies of being something else, I arrive at this conclusion: a man actually becoming something other than a man is an insult to my intelligence.
(For consistency, I am using the pronoun “he” for Jenner, if he wants to be called “she” then he can take it up with Webster or Diane Sawyer).
Jenner could resemble a vampire but he would not be a vampire (something about being an immortal, undead, blood-sucking, bat-transforming, mind-controlling demon might have something to do with it, but who am I to judge?), nor would he be a real porcupine if he accessorized quills. And after his surgical castration, chondrolaryngoplasty and penectomy, neither will Jenner be, in a biological, ontological, zoological, or sexological sense, a woman.
Yet Jenner said not only that he will be a woman, but also that he is a woman now.
And that statement makes him a humungous misogynist jerk.
If I were to say to my wife, “I know how you think, and I know how your mind works, I know the very core—the essence—of your being, so I’ll do all the thinking around here from now on”—before my lips closed on the last syllable, she’d likely bestow a pearl necklace upon me, made from my own teeth that she just knocked from my mouth. Then after carefully dressing me in a hand-dyed blood-red top (dyed from my own blood), and precisely fitting a cast-iron pan as my hat, she would introduce me to the honeymoon suite—shared with my new companion: the dog.
So I exaggerated a bit, but to put it mildly, she wouldn’t be happy, and “jerk” is one of the words that would likely fly from her sultry lips.
I know my wife pretty well. I can predict many of her reactions, albeit mostly based on years of blind trial-and-error. Those lessons have produced in me an almost subconscious ability to avoid certain behaviors, words, or responses which have punishment triggers associated with them, and to engage in other behaviors which are associated with rewards. Like a good dog, I had to be trained, because a man’s mind is different than a woman’s (it’s a well-researched fact).
I cannot, no matter how well I know her, be my wife or know her thoughts.
And Jenner can’t possess the mind of a woman.
Jenner was married to his third wife Kris Kardashian for 23 years; he fathered a total of six children among his three wives. Yet he has the unmitigated gall to claim “my brain is much more female than it is male. It is hard for people to understand that but that is what my soul is.”
Does Jenner understand how logically ridiculous and specious that statement is? How could he possibly know how a woman’s brain thinks, objectively? He’s only possessed one brain, one mind, his whole life, and with that experimental set of exactly one (provided he has actually been in possession of his own mind), he claims to know how a woman thinks.
Then he made an even more outrageous statement. “If she had been really good with it and understanding, we would probably still be together.” So now Jenner not only claims to know how a woman’s brain thinks, but he also claims to know how Kris Kardashian should have thought. I suppose, if Bruce was married to female Bruce, she would understand him perfectly. Perhaps instead of sexual reassignment surgery, he should pursue cloning.
Maybe if Bruce really thought like a woman, he’d realize Kardashian married him because she thought he was a man, which he was, in all visible respects. Just possibly her completely female brain didn’t pick up the vibes that it was communicating with another woman inside all that man-hair and testosterone.
Jenner said he told Chrystie Scott, his first wife, about his desire to be a woman. Apparently, at first she dug the whole cross-dressing thing—it’s a bit kinky after all. He said his second wife Linda Thompson also knew.
Then Jenner described his marriages as being “not fair” to his wives, him really being a woman inside and all. Ya think?
Just posing a hypothetical question here: how much would you have to despise women, claiming to think like one and feel like one, saying “for all intents and purposes, I am a woman,” yet marry three women who wanted to be married to a man?
Seriously, did Jenner ever see “The Crying Game”?
What kind of fraud does a man like that perform upon himself and his wife, to think that he can feel what a woman feels inside, but be a man biologically? Attempting to go there brands oneself a male Chauvinist pig: one who believes a man can think like a woman and hide it so well men will enshrine him on Wheaties boxes.
Jenner, the ultimate narcissist, says to himself, I am a woman, and I know I’m a woman because I, the Wheaties-box champion, can know and conquer anything—veni, vidi, vici.
The entire affair reminds me of the Mel Gibson movie “What Women Want.” Gibson’s character, insufferable male Chauvinist Nick Marshall, realizes how much he doesn’t know about women when he receives the gift of hearing their actual thoughts. If only that gift were available to Jenner, maybe he’d see exactly how insulting it is to women for him to say he is one of them.
Putting myself in Jenner’s shoes, were I to say that I have the ability to think like a woman, however I have no desire to mutilate my body to resemble one, I’m fairly sure that just about every liberal metrosexual gender-bending post-modernist would condemn me as a misogynist jerk. They’d say I’m waging a “war on women,” and they’d be right.
There’s no worse nanny than someone who takes up your own personal causes by saying they identify with you, while sharing none of your history, culture or intimate details. That person is simply a dilettante, or worse: a moral busybody, a bully with benevolent intentions but ham-fisted methods. At least the fictional Nick Marshall had a real gift, not an imaginary displacement scenario. But Jenner isn’t a fictional movie character.
Looking at a different but related scenario, what if a white man decided to darken his skin because he believed he had an “inner African-American,” and wanted to stop “running away from who I was” (Jenner’s words). This guy liked rap and learned black slang, but lived a white, middle-class life before he decided to become black. Do you think the black community would accept him? Of course not.
When Vijay Chokalingam, actress Mindy Kaling’s brother, couldn’t get into medical school as an Indian (from India, not a Native American like [mc_name name=’Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA)’ chamber=’senate’ mcid=’W000817′ ]), he simply became a black man—he changed his hair style, hung out with black people, and used his middle name, Jojo. His plan worked, almost.
I became a serious contender at some of the greatest medical schools in America, including Harvard, Wash U, UPenn, Case Western, and Columbia. In all, I interviewed at eleven prestigious medical schools in 9 major cities across America, while posing a black man.
Not bad for a kid with a 3.1 college GPA, heh?
My plan actually worked. Lucky for you, I never became a doctor.
Chokalingam was never really a black man, he was just a dark-skinned Indian man. It’s insulting beyond words to blacks who had to compete with him for medical school slots, because after all the affirmative action system is set up to help people of the actual race with a disadvantage.
Jenner becoming a woman has the same moldy smell: every woman who ever competed against Caster Semenya in the 800m run could tell you she might be a he. In Semenya’s case, she is a hermaphrodite—a genuine transsexual born that way. Granted, Jenner isn’t competing anymore, but what if a male athlete, “confused with my gender identity” (Jenner’s words), in the prime of his competitive life, decided to make the jump to female?
“What I’m doing is going to do some good. We are going to change the world,” Jenner told Sawyer. “We are going to make a difference in the world.” Does this mean he’ll advocate transgender athletes competing with natural-born athletes of the same “gender”? Is that fair? Should Jenner, as a she, run for president—let’s assume Hillary loses and we end up with another man in the White House—would a future President Jenner be the first woman president? Absurd.
In a statement, GLAAD President & CEO Sarah Kate Ellis praised Jenner’s decision.
“By sharing this story, Bruce Jenner has shined a light on what it means to be transgender and live authentically in the face of unimaginable public scrutiny. Though Jenner’s journey is one that is deeply personal, it is also one that will impact and inspire countless people around the world.”
Countless people, but not women, which Jenner claims to be.
Jenner’s story isn’t really about being a woman at all. It’s about a man deciding he wants to live superficially as a woman—more specifically as a gay man in a woman flesh suit—selfishly justifying his decision by claiming some gnostic femininity. That does not make Bruce Jenner a woman.
It does make him a humungous transsexual misogynistic jerk.