I’m about to violate Betteridge’s law of headlines. Whenever a headline ends in a question, the answer is inevitably “no.” But I wrote this headline to purposely have a “yes” answer. [mc_name name=’Sen. Harry Reid (D-NV)’ chamber=’senate’ mcid=’R000146′ ]’s eye, face, and rib injuries are irrelevant, and if he lied about them, it’s also irrelevant. But that doesn’t stop investigative journalists from spending hours digging up evidence as if this was as important as, say, the Iran nuclear negotiations (it isn’t).
When Andrew Breitbart was at the helm of his eponymous website, they broke hard-hitting stories like Anthony Weiner’s—umm—wiener. These days, Breitbart.com sticks mostly to reposting news and light commentary. In reverence to its former glory, yet with a touch of irrelevance, Breitbart has broken the story of Democrat Senate Minority Leader [mc_name name=’Sen. Harry Reid (D-NV)’ chamber=’senate’ mcid=’R000146′ ]’s “accident.”
It is irrelevant because (a) Reid’s duties of kowtowing to President Obama have been fully assumed by [mc_name name=’Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY)’ chamber=’senate’ mcid=’M000355′ ], the RINO majority leader, and (b) Reid is retiring at the end of this term, so his utility in the do-nothing senate is limited.
Yet it’s difficult to resist poking holes in the 75-year-old Nevadan’s story that he was hurt while exercising at home in June, 2014.
Reid, a former amateur lightweight boxer, also lamented that he wasn’t injured in a more glamorous way.
“As most people know, I fought for a couple of years. After any one of those fights, I never looked like I do now,” he said.” However, I didn’t get this black eye by sparring with Manny; by challenging Floyd Mayweather; I didn’t go bull-riding; I wasn’t riding a motorcycle. I was exercising in my new home.”
Breitbart’s investigative piece dismantles Reid’s story that he was using “large rubber bands,” or resistance bands, exercising in his bathroom, when one broke and sent him spinning into cabinets, breaking bones in his face.
A Breitbart News investigation of Reid’s home exercise accident has uncovered facts that appear to discredit Reid’s version of the home exercise accident for three very specific reasons:
1. The shower door in his master bathroom, as well as two of the other three sides of the shower itself, consists of a glass panel that extends from floor to ceiling and is not sturdy enough to be used as the anchor for an exercise band.
2. The distance from the shower door to the cabinets in the bathroom is at best a mere 3 feet, an insufficient width to conduct the type of resistance band exercises Reid says he was performing when one of the bands broke and he hit his head on the cabinet.
3. Even if Reid had attempted to conduct his exercises in this very narrow 3 feet passage, the force of the exercise would not have been sufficient to “spin him around” and crash him into the cabinets of the master bathroom, as he claims.
Complete with Reid’s house plans, video of people exercising with resistance bands, and quotes from Darrin Crowder, who is featured in The Art of Manliness website (which, by the way, is an excellent source of manly wisdom on everything masculine, from mustache waxing to meeting women), Brietbart.com built its case. Sounds almost iron-clad—maybe Reid lied about his injuries.
Let’s assume he did, for the sake of argument.
What circumstances could create Reid’s injuries, and why would he lie about it?
Having a can of whoop-ass opened on his face would do it, all right, so let’s explore that.
Maybe old Harry decided to put on the stars & stripes boxing shorts and go a few rounds with Sly Stallone, who is only 9 years his junior. Of course, Stallone is a Republican, so he may not have pulled his punches. It would have been embarrassing for Harry to admit he got his ass kicked by one of the Expendables.
Or perhaps he cut off Gena Carano in traffic, and when he offered to buy her a drink in return, she let him know what she thought of that idea.
Was Breitbart hinting at some other nefarious source of Reid’s injuries? Maybe the first rule of Senate Fight Club is “don’t talk about Senate Fight Club” (in that case, did Harry self-inflict his injuries?). Did President Obama hire a few drunk Secret Service agents to teach Harry a lesson in etiquette? I don’t see that scenario happening, honestly, since Reid has always been one of Obama’s biggest sycophants.
Really, this story lacks a compelling reason to care, and that’s why Breitbart has fallen from the lofty heights of raw investigative journalism to which Andrew aspired.
In the end, [mc_name name=’Sen. Harry Reid (D-NV)’ chamber=’senate’ mcid=’R000146′ ] is old, deserves to retire to his beautiful 3,571 square-foot home in Henderson, outside Las Vegas, and live there quietly for the remainder of his days.
We should let him do exactly that, and leave him in peace. If he chose to lie about hurting himself, he only harms his own credibility. And as the song says, “nothin’ from nothin’ leaves nothin’.”