In the “extinction-level event” department, asteroid 2014-YB35 will (likely) not hit Earth tomorrow. It’s going to miss us by a measly 2.4 million miles. That’s about 10 times the orbit radius of the Moon, and 1/10th the distance between Earth and Venus (1/20th the distance to Mars). In astronomical terms, it’s a close miss.
We should celebrate tomorrow as Extinction Avoidance Day. Possible appropriate events would include sacrificing a world leader into an active volcano to placate the asteroid gods (I can name a few who qualify), using NASA’s “outreach” mission to launch a few ISIS friends into the Sun (but do it at night so they won’t burn up), or preparing for the Sweet Meteor of Death by cashing in all your stocks for gold, and burying the gold in your yard while you sit over the hole with your AR15, ready to kill zombies.
The Sweet Meteor O’Death will also be celebrating.
FYI: 2014-YB35 is a total flake. RT @GayPatriot: Dear Asteroid 2014-YB35… Aim here. Sincerely, Earth. pic.twitter.com/m20yEVtlgU
— Sweet Meteor O’Death (@smod2016) March 26, 2015
I’m gonna be so pissed if I get to Earth next year only to find you humans have already exterminated yourselves.
— Sweet Meteor O’Death (@smod2016) March 26, 2015
When I meet w/voters, I hear the same concerns: “Secure the border” “Stop ISIS” “Render my planet lifeless in an asteroid apocalypse”
— Sweet Meteor O’Death (@smod2016) March 25, 2015
This @KevinNR piece is worth reading if for no other reason than this sentence. http://t.co/DEd1xasaKp pic.twitter.com/gidNrShd2U
— Sweet Meteor O’Death (@smod2016) March 25, 2015
On this I agree with the Left (and only this): the extinction-event-loving SMOD is definitely a conservative.
