Ever read the fine print?  Ever see the Christmas sale ads with a big honking asterisk at the end of the offer for a free 80″ television*?

The world is obsessed with optics, and rarely bothers to look beneath the skin on so many outright lies.  Here’s a few images whose optics don’t really match the story we’re being fed.  You might say they are big asterisks by people who think we’re stupid-a**.  But, you know, #realitysucks sometimes.

Voters are Smart

I wonder if that book fits up his asterisk?  He certainly shoved it up ours.

Not a Bomb

President Rouhani, we know you are negotiating in good faith and all.  I don’t know why we would think you are up to anything but peaceful nuclear enrichment research.  For peaceful, non-aggressive, non-military purposes.  You might even share your nuclear technology with Israel (at the tip of a missile).

Islam Peaceful Religion

ISIS represents no faith, “least of all Islam” (according to President Obama).  That book in his right hand, I think it’s the family photo album.  Wait, it’s not.  It’s a Koran.  And in his left hand is a grenade.  How peaceful.

Not a King

Self-explanatory.  Or perhaps he just ate some Imperial Margarine and is writing home about it.  Or not.  Because there’s the pen.  And the phone.

Fighting for Justice

A postcard from downtown Ferguson.  I think this guy and his buddies are just picking up a few groceries to feed the marchers for justice.  No looting going on here.  Because free stuff.  Move along.

Because a Christian

Well well well, from the It Can’t Happen Here Department, we have Atlanta Fire Chief Kelvin Cochran, whose book “Who Told You That You Were Naked?” is available on Amazon (order it).  Apparently, Big Brother deems this book unprintable, and since they can’t order him to burn it like Fahrenheit 451, they simply relieved Chief Cochran from his duties.  For a month.  Without pay.  So please order the book, because he will need the money for his legal representation, when I’m sure his job goes up in smoke.  (Weird, this book was published on November 28, 2013, almost a year ago.  Must have been a slow burning fire that caused this crisis–a crisis started when the first offended homosexual read the book.  Nobody seemed to care until that happened).

Yessir, #realitysucks, and it’s better with a hashtag in front of it.

*Restrictions may apply. Only with the purchase of $5,000 worth of overpriced goods.  While supplies last.  Subject to change.  Your mileage may vary.  Results not typical.  Paid actors.