EPA loses the right to SWAT you in your bedroom for greenhouse gases


The bloated, festering mass of putrescent flesh calling itself the EPA suffered a stinging rebuke from the Supreme Court on Monday.  You see, the EPA made a power grab, trying to ooze its slimy tendrils into every home, school, apartment building, and bedroom in the country, to enforce its religious devotion to climate change and regulate greenhouse gases, everywhere.

Ignoring the Constitution, and stepping way beyond Congressional authority granted to the agency, the EPA simply decided it had the power to regulate greenhouse gas emissions, anywhere, and to set those limits at its own discretion.  By EPA’s logic, if their jackbooted SWAT teams decided that you were breathing too hard, you could be seized as a greenhouse gas emitter and, well, limited.

SCOTUS ruled 5-4* (!) that EPA had stretched too far.

“An agency may not rewrite clear statutory terms to suit its own sense of how the statute should operate,” Justice Scalia wrote. “We are not willing to stand on the dock and wave goodbye as EPA embarks on a multiyear voyage of discovery” about how it wants to regulate greenhouse gases.

The Justices also ruled 7-2 that the EPA does have authority to regulate greenhouse gases from sources it already regulates for other pollutants, such as power plants or factories with smokestacks.  So be prepared to pay a lot more for your electricity once the new greenhouse gas limits start taking effect.

In other EPA news, back in October 2013 during the brief government shutdown, the EPA determined that 93% of its own employees are “non-essential”.  That makes sense, since the entire agency is non-essential and duplicative.  The only good thing the EPA has done for the environment was its bike room at 1310 L Street at the Office of Air and Radiation (where most of the employees are non-essential), but they are closing it next month.  The EPA needs to close, period.

EPA’s bike room in Washington DC


*For the majority: Justice Scalia (main opinion) along with Chief Justice John G. Roberts, Jr., and Anthony Kennedy. Justices Samuel A. Alito, Jr., and Clarence Thomas joined the majority on striking down EPA’s expansive view of its greenhouse gas powers, but dissented on allowing EPA to regulate those gases at sources EPA regulates for other pollutants, and that ruling upheld the EPA 7-2.