Shutter the EPA


Here’s a way to cut 15,193 employees and $9 billion from the bloated Federal budget, while injecting $353 billion into the economy:  shutter the EPA.

Actually, instead of simply eradicating it, it could be folded into Americorps, and renamed the National Corporation for Collective Guilt, and the 15,193 EPA employees converted into volunteers.

If there’s ever been an agency of the Federal government with no evidence of doing anything, ever, it’s the EPA (with the Department of Education a strong runner-up, although it’s nefarious “accomplishments” are nothing to boast about).  Really…the EPA was organized around responsibility transfers from existing agencies, all of which still exist in one form or another, and all of which still do the same things they did before the EPA allegedly took those functions over.  Basically, the EPA has always been a Department of Redundancy Department.

Since its inception almost 44 years ago, the EPA has created the Office of Fake Science, the Office of Global Warming Worship, and the Office of Energy Dependence.

There’s only one purpose for the EPA: as a haven for guilt-ridden liberals to fantasize how they will rule the country at gunpoint, although other kinds of fantasizing goes on there (child porn) too.  The problem is, at least some of these fantasies carry the weight of law, making the EPA the National Mafia, shaking down corporations at will.  They are more effective at targeting political enemies than the IRS, and they have less oversight than practically any other Federal department*.

Companies spend about $353 billion (in 2012) a year to comply with EPA regulations, many of which overlap other agencies (see above for the Department of Redundancy Department).  Eliminating the EPA will simply make the USDA (also a bloated hive of crony cash hoarders) and the DOI (ditto) do the same jobs they’ve always done, except using one agency to do it instead of two.

I think moving all those Federal employees into Americorps would cause them to either find real jobs, or if they believe in the collective guilt of mankind sinning against Mother Gaia so much, they should volunteer to work for free.  Another proposal worth considering is to designate the former EPA as a church and make them a religion, that at least goes along with their blind faith in climate change, and dogmatic opposition to anything derived from a fossil fuel (unless it’s Arab oil or South American oil).  Al Gore can be their first potentate.

The best part of eliminating the EPA is this:  nobody would even notice their passing.  It would be like January 1, 2000, when Y2K preppers forecast doom, and then…nothing happened.  The second best part would be that the government could re-open the “bike room” at 1310 L Street, currently housing the EPA Office of Air and Radiation.  It would make too much sense for the arm of the government responsible for everyone’s carbon footprint to actually promote bike riding in Washington DC, so we have to close the EPA to make room for progress.

As for the 15,193 employees whose paychecks would end, I’m sorry, but not too sorry.  Maybe they could apply for some of the 34,000 jobs that are estimated to be lost by the US Chamber of Commerce due to the EPA’s Cross-State Pollution Rule.

Tell your congressmen and senators, it’s time to start plucking some low hanging fruit, and the biggest, most overripe, fungus-infested, rotting fruit on the vine is the EPA.  It’s time it was picked and composted.


*The EPA is overseen by no less than 5 major committees and 6 subcommittees in the Senate (none of which have direct responsibility for oversight of all the EPA is supposed to do), and 12 more subcommittees in the House (again, none of which has direct oversight of everything).  Essentially, the EPA can get away with murder and pass it right under Congress’ nose.