Biden for Veep? Best News I've Heard All Summer

Christmas came early this year for John McCain. It came gift-wrapped in the form of Senator Joe Biden the biggest, most pompous windbag in the United States Senate, a man so full of cr*p his speeches bear an awful resemblance to twenty minutes of flatulence preceded by “Good evening ladies and gentlemen,” and followed by “God bless America.”

You don’t believe me? Go ahead and watch this clip of Senator Biden sticking his foot in his mouth:

Now watch this movie clip of a man farting for three or four minutes:

There. It is official. Listening to a fart is more exciting and entertaining than listing to Joe Biden talk.

Aside from Biden’s endless gaffes and comatose rhetoric, the political strategy behind Obama’s pick is virtually impossible to discern. Somewhere in a dark room Howard Dean and Rahm Emanuel are sitting at a table drinking copious amounts of beer. As two of the foremost exponents of the so-called “fifty state strategy,” Dean and Emanuel have spent most of the past decade grooming and supporting quality Democratic candidates in Red States and battleground states. Their efforts have helped produce a slew of attractive candidates – Kaine of Virginia, Bayh of Indiana, and Richardson of New Mexico – who might have helped swing large chunks of formerly safe Republican territory into Obama’s column this November. Instead, Senator Obama appears to have chucked that strategy right out the window by nominating a liberal senator from a northeastern state he could hardly fail to lose.