Greetings, People of West Virginia!

Just wanted to assure you that your Senior Senator is still up and around and perfectly capable of executing the duties you elected him to perform.  Behold! I have video proof:

And now a message for the rest of America: remember when the Democrat speechwriter talking point was that we should abandon Iraq so we could focus our efforts on Al Qaeda in Afghanistan? I remember, too! Apparently, the new Democrat speechwriter talking point is that we should abandon Afghanistan so we can focus our efforts on Al Qaeda in… mmmphpuddingmmmphlrg. Well, I’m sure that’s as much of a rallying call for you as it is for me!

Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.