Rules for Surviving a Zombie Attack & Harry Reid's Union "Firewall"

Reportedly, there are 32 rules that you must know in order to survive zombie attacks.

Right now, union zombies are mustering their money and their forces to make sure that Harry Reid stays in Washington to keep feeding them.

Nevada, home of Senate majority leader Harry Reid, is one of six states deemed by the union zombies at the AFL-CIO to be “firewall” states.

What is a “firewall” state?  It is a state “where a large number of Democratic officeholders—governors, senators, congressmen—are endangered, and where there are numerous union members.”

Right now, Harry Reid is one of those “endangered” officeholders, with polls showing him trailing his two likely GOP challengers by double digits.

However, November is a long way off and, like any horror movie, the bad guys never go easy.

And, Harry Reid says he can rise from the dead.

Despite his underdog status, Sen. Harry Reid declared Monday he’s confident he’ll win re-election, and he welcomed independent candidates — who could splinter the vote and spoil any GOP effort to retire the most powerful senator in the most watched race in the nation.

So, without further ado, here are 17 of the 32 Rules to Survive Zombie Attacks*:

  1. Know the zombies:  Unions are a multi-billion dollar special interest to whom Harry Reid is beholden.
  2. Name the zombies:  Make sure the public knows that unions are not “working families” (see #1; expose union fat cats, if necessary)
  3. Expose the zombies:  Make sure the public knows how much money the zombies are funneling to Harry Reid’s campaign.
  4. Explain the zombies’ goals: Higher taxes, forced unionization and a loss of liberty (see nationalization of healthcare).
  5. All politics are local: The unemployment rate in Las Vegas’ is 13.8%; overall, Nevada’s unemployment is 13% [How’s that stimulus working out for ya?]
  6. Obamacare will raise taxes “on the middle class”
  7. Higher taxes = lower investment = less jobs
  8. Use the zombies’ weapons against them (see Saul Alinsky)
  9. Laugh at the zombies’ attacks, then…
  10. Punch back twice as hard (whenever the zombies air an ad, air two counter ads)
  11. Ridicule.
  12. Hold Harry accountable to his campaign promises and remind voters of his gaffes.
  13. Be creative.
  14. Use the media.
  15. Protest every Harry Reid fundraiser and event
  16. Every time an out of state zombie comes to campaign for Harry, be there (with pickets)…
  17. Make sure video cameras are in hand and batteries are charged**

* In the spirit of free and open participation, we are leaving the remaining 15 of the 32 Rules for Surviving a Zombie Attack open for comments and suggestions (please leave numbered comments below) and we will update this post accordingly.

** Video cameras are necessary to ward off unwarranted zombie attacks (see Kenneth Gladney) or, at least, to preserve evidence.

“I bring reason to your ears, and, in language as plain as ABC, hold up truth to your eyes.” Thomas Paine, December 23, 1776

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Photo Credit: Hryck