Another Shrimp on the Election Prediction Barbie, With a Sandy Surprise

So, here we are….finally. We’re now in the final hours before the voting for the 2012 Presidential election starts. All of the endless polls, the political spin jobs, the god-awful campaign commercials, campaign calls, pundits’ postulating, and traffic jams in swing states caused by the candidates’ motorcades are about to come to an end. Every politically-minded human in the nation who can get their face in front of a TV camera or a radio station mic, or has more than 2 followers on Twitter, has given their prognostication for tomorrow night’s election results. I could go renegade and say I’ll give no prediction, but why sit out of all the pre-election fun?
So, without further adieu, here is my 2012 Presidential election prediction, which I’ll note that even if I nailed the results here perfectly, 99.9999% of humanity will never see this and could honestly care less.

I believe that Romney will in fact win big. I predict that Romney will carry 323 electoral votes to Obama’s 215, and win the popular vote by at least 4.5% of the total electorate.

Of the battleground states, Romney will carry Florida, Ohio, New Hampshire, Colorado, Wisconsin, Virginia, and Pennsylvania.


I’m also predicting a stunning sleeper-state win for Romney: New Jersey. What?! Yes, New Jersey.


Two weeks ago, I’d never have said that, but the people of the garden state are notorious for exerting their wrath, and Hurricane Sandy will have a major impact. A week after the storm, anger over the lack of electricity and gas, FEMA’s response so far, and just the general misery of the situation will drive some people to skip the election, while more ill-tempered Jerseyians will side with Chris Christie, and vote to punish the President.
That’s my opinion. We’ll have to see if my pre-election precognitive ability makes me the internet’s election-day Master Yoda, or if on Wednesday I’ll be joining the Election Prediction Hall of Shame with Dick Morris and Michael Barone. Either way, unlike those two, almost no one will ever see my prediction, so if it blows up in my face, I don’t have to answer for it on live TV.