Rahm Emanuel Wins Contest In Chicago

This one is just to make you laugh a little. Kinda like a dirty joke. It’s supposed to be tongue-in-cheek, so laugh, OK?

I don’t normally re-report Politico stories, but this one is really funny. It seems that The People of Chicagoland have decided who is going to be the next mayor. The race is over. The three or four dozen (ok, maybe hundred) people who matter in Chicagoland, that is. The rest of them are going to vote, eventually, but that’s just a formality at this point.

Politico reports that filings released on Thursday indicate Rahm Emanuel’s campaign has amassed $11.7 million in funds from Hollywood big shots, former Treasury secretaries, celebrities, CEOs, etc., which puts him 508% ahead of the second best-funded candidate (Gery Chico) and an astonishing 1460% ahead of the next most popular candidate (Carol Moseley-Braun), according to their article. Even if those two were to fuse themselves together into some kind of hideous Chicago political monster, Emanuel would still have ’em jackslapped to the tune of about 375%. That’s a big lead, brother.

The Chicago Mercantile exchange cut a check for $200,000, dozens of lawyers from top city law firms, especially Kirkland and Ellis, also gave in the thousands. Local real estate and finance moguls gave $50,000 donations by the handfuls.

So that means he’s gonna lose now, right? 😉