Diary

HallObama: Trick-Or-Treat Socialist Style

The kids in our neighborhood are in for a rude awakening come Friday. But years from now, they’ll thank us for teaching them a valuable lesson.

You see, this year — I thought it would only be fitting to offer the kiddies a prelude of things to come if Senator Obama is elected. But I needed to offer it in a manner which their young minds could process.

The candy.

This Friday, instead of sitting on the front porch marveling at all of the fairies, princesses, ninjas and comic book super heroes that merrily march up my front sidewalk, I’ll be teaching them some valuable principles of Socialism.

Before I dole out the candy bars, lollipops and tootsie-rolls®, I will be conducting bag checks.

So, if you happen to be one of the motivated munchkins that diligently hit every house in the subdivision, and reeled in a hefty bag of loot, I’m afraid I’m going to need to lighten your load a bit.

I’ll explain to them that this process is an effort to “spread the candy around.” We have to make it fair to the kids who didn’t receive as much candy as they did. They may have parents that were working late at a second job to help keep them in their homes. They may live in neighborhoods were it just isn’t safe to go out trick-or-treating. But whatever the reason, we have to make sure that those kids get some candy as well.

I didn’t forget the adults, either. While it certainly appears that most voters already have these in their possession, I’ll be handing out earplugs and blindfolds as well. That will help to block out the noise of those pesky conservative commercials that keep cropping up from that big spending huckster John McCain. The blindfolds will spare their eyes from having to view the vapid stare and wardrobe excesses of that “diva” Sarah Palin.

And they will also help keep them in the dark about what is actually about to happen to them if Senator Obama gets elected on November 4th. They’ll need those earplugs and blindfolds in an effort to forget that they brought the ensuing mess upon themselves.