Diary

What really happened to the planet Krypton

Recent research has proven that the story we have heard ever since 1938 is incorrect, and that Jor-El sent his son Kal-El to earth not because Krypton exploded, but that it became uninhabitable due to climate change!

More, we were told that Jor-El was Krypton’s greatest scientist, but it turns out that that was a lie as well. In fact, the white Kryptonians were of middling intelligence, but enslaved the black, brown, red and yellow Kryptonians after having stolen phaser technology from its creators, a diverse group of black, brown, red and yellow scientists, technicians and engineers.

The diverse Kryptonians were devising a means of escape for all Kryptonians, but the evil General Don-Ald led a raid for white Kryptonian supremacy, and slaughtered all of the Kryptonians of Colour.

Alas! the white Kryptonians, being of lesser intelligence yet still filled with selfishness and capitalist greed, despite the fact that such had led to the climate change which made Krypton uninhabitable, destroyed almost all of the machinery the Kryptonians of Colour had developed, and but a single space ship remained. Jor-El, aided by his brother MAGA-El, stole that ship, and while he intended to save himself, it turned out that he was too obese to fit in the craft. Lacking the time and ability to modify the craft, he finally listened to the pleadings of his fourth wife, Melan-Ia and sent his firstborn legitimate son to earth.

And now you know the real story!
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