Your 12-year old daughter gets called a racist by her classmates for wearing a T-shirt with your candidates’ names on it.

Your Lexus just got keyed.

Your car isn’t a Lexus, but it got keyed anyway.

Your political yard sign is missing.

Your political yard sign is missing, and there is only the empty frame for it left standing in your yard.

Your political yard signs are missing, but there are empty pizza boxes in your yard.

Your yard sign is still standing, but it has Molotov cocktail burns around the edges.

You’re 75 years old, and a 73-year old Democrat poll worker jumps on your back and starts pounding on your head because you objected to her marking your voter ballot for Obama when your intention was to vote for McCain.

Your face is bruised because your political sign was ripped out of your hands, and you were beaten with the stick it was attached to.

Your head got shoved into a wall at a restaurant.

You have a black eye and the letter “B” scratched onto your face because of your political bumper sticker. *Or not.

Your house gets shot up because of your political yard signs.

Your tour bus takes one for the team.

*UPDATE: Or, you could just be an unhinged Ron Paul supporter who made it all up.

• JP