I wrote this one back in November:
Congratulations on your re-election Governor. Your 92%-8% landslide victory is an all-time record. Meanwhile the Alaskan economy is humming along as oil revenues are up due to demand from abroad. Premier Obama’s decision to force the country to stop using fossil fuels have paid off nicely for you. Premier Obama’s approval rating now stands at 3, as in 3 people … him, Michelle, and Joe Biden.
The Republican party has taken over control of Congress after the most recent election … they now have a 77-23 advantage in the Senate, where Al Franken has been named minority leader and Robert Byrd minority whip. In the House the GOP now controls 350 seats and Nancy Pelosi has retired to her non-union winery.
The United States has faced many problems since your bid to become the first female Vice President fell short. After destroying the military Premier Obama has hired the French navy to patrol U.S. coasts as Somali pirates continue to hold fisherman for ransom in the Delaware bay. The Big 3 in Detroit have new CEOs, they are William Ayars, Rev. Wright and Chris Dodd.
Premier Obama is facing a tough bid for the nomination of the Communist-Farmers-Socialist-Teacher’s Union-Democratic Party. His challengers include Ron Paul, Hillary Clinton and Matt Damon. He is hampered by the 15% unemployment rate and the 22% rate of inflation. His decision to allow Al-Qaeda to open an embassy in Obamapolis (formerly known as Washington D.C.) has not worked out, terrorist attacks are up 78% since this decision. Secretary of the Treasury Jon Corzine has not been able to fix the printing press as his continued bailouts have had little impact on the struggling economy. The new head of AIG, Barney Frank is forecasting a loss for 2011 and is considering firing his secretary (only remaining employee) to save money.
The new majority leader in the Senate, Jim Demint is already proposing legislation that will kill the National Health Department which is scheduled for a $567,000,000,000 deficit for the next fiscal year. Rolling blackouts throughout the country have the American people looking for reliable sources of energy … they look to Alaska to supply it. The new Speaker of the House, Paul Ryan is ready to push massive tax cuts that will drop the top rate from 99% to 15% and encourage massive economic growth. However, Premier Obama has ordered his praetorian guard (under the command of John McCain) to imprison any member of Congress who would propose such legislation. All monuments and pictures of former President Ronald Reagan have been taken down and any mention of his name will lead to a stay at GITMO, which has now been transformed into a “re-education camp” run by the NJ teacher’s union.
To help pay off the national debt, Premier Obama has given Mississippi and Alabama to Hugo Chavez in exchange that Chavez promises not to destroy our two remaining F-16s and one aircraft carrier. Canada has taken control of Maine and Vermont after Obama promised to redeploy troops to Chicago.
Will you save the Republic?