The Ultimate "Free" Program

Oh how Progressives love to offer “free” things to people.  Of course nothing is really free, as somebody (i.e. the taxpayers) needs to pay for it.  But let’s buy in to the Progressives’ delusion for a moment and as we do so, I would like to make a request for free government.

Progressives are willing to give us free health care, free education, free housing, free food, free birth control, and a plethora of other freebies.  They tell us that these things are essential and must be made available to people at no charge.  Well is there anything more essential (in the minds of Progressives) than government?

Should not we the people expect to receive government services for free?  Why should we be expected to pay for Congress, the President, the Supreme Court, the IRS, the Defense Department and all other government agencies?  Shouldn’t these things exist at no cost to the taxpayer?  Why should there even be such things as taxes and taxpayers?

Can’t the President and our representatives just volunteer their time to carry out the business of governing our country?  Can’t USDA inspectors and EPA regulators offer the services free of charge for the good of the public (makes you wonder how many regulations we’d actually have under such circumstances)?

If professional women shouldn’t have to pay for birth control and able-bodied high school graduates shouldn’t have to work to pay their way through community college, why should citizens have to pay for their government?

But since we all know that these “free” things are really things that other people are paying for, let’s apply that model to government.  Let’s find someone else to pay for our government.  How about we impose a tax on the rest of the world to pay for our government?  We could deploy the IRS to all corners of the globe to collect this tax (since they’ll no longer be busy collecting taxes from Americans) and use the full force of our military to enforce it.  We could get those rich countries to finally pay their fair share.  Why should demanding that Germany pay to fund FEMA be viewed as any different than Bob Smith demanding that Bill Gates get a tax increase so that Bob can attend community college for two years?

Why should we, the hardworking American (hopefully soon to be former) taxpayers be the saps that get stuck with the bill for the things we need?  Let’s start a PR campaign to accuse all those rich nations who refuse to fund our government of being willing to stand by and let America fall into anarchy due to the lack of a properly financed government.  Let’s talk about how their greed will lead to untold suffering among poor and middle-class Americans.

Government is a right.  No one should have to go without it just because they can’t (or aren’t willing) to pay for it.  Now all we need to do is pass a 100,000 page bill and create a new government agency to administer this government program to provide free government.  I urge you to call your congressmen and Senators today to get this started.