WSJ: Why College Football should be banned!

The spores of socialism have been released.
Rush Limbaugh predicted it. Football is the next target.
This WSJ article gets the bandwagon rolling.

Indeed we have a new enemy and crisis on our hands! The politburos need to start immediately with new caption warnings on the TV screen. The unsuspecting viewer should be aware that the following program contains acts of CP (Competition), AG (Aggression), Violence and most importantly PO, (polarization) and UNFR ( Unfair, Unequal outcomes where only one team wins.

The hapless masses also need to be educated to the facts, thaI football contributes to discrimination, favoritism, team bias, and polarizing citizens to declare their allegiance to one team, to the detriment of an other.

Furthermore “Big Football” has tried for decades to bury the health risks to the viewers as well. The “game” leads to unsustainable consumption of alcohol, saturated fats and salt which will put a heavy burden on our socialized healthcare master plan.

The physical activity exerted by players on the field, reflexively trigger unnecessary cheering by fans. The combined result is a dramatic increase in exhalations of CO2 which contribute to Global Warming. To put this in perspective, every time a football game is played, two cuddly polar bears will drown from the melting ice, caused by this deadly passtime.

Many are optimistic that the upcoming emergency U.N. summit in Denmark, will result in the historic ‘Football Accords” which would ban football by 2018, and categorize the barbaric activity of “football” as a “hate crime” against humanity and the environment.

Jacques Ditte
“It is true that liberty is precious – so precious that it must be rationed.” — Vladimir Lenin